Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

The one word you should never say to your partner

couple arguing on sofa.jpg

Forget what Disney taught you all those years ago; there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ relationship.

Every single one requires work, compromise, and understanding – and no successful couple are immune to arguments.

But, while fights with your partner are normal – healthy, even, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it.


Read more: The five words and phrases that trigger conflict in relationships


And it seems as if there’s one word in particular which can erode the foundations of a relationship.

We should literally never say 'never'.

Speaking to The Huffington Post, Anna Brosh – a psychologist based in Los Angeles – has explained that we should banish it from our vocabulary completely, regardless as to whether or not it’s said in anger or just everyday conversation.

Never say never

Never say never

She explains: “It’s a way of shutting your partner out while leaving them feeling hopeless.

“It creates a sense of finality which leaves no room for further discussion.”

So how should we work to combat the classic “never have I ever said never” situation?

With a little clever rephrasing, that’s how.

Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” for example, Brosh suggests trying something along the lines of: “When you’re on your cellphone during conversations I feel like you’re not listening to me,” or ‘“There are times when I’m not sure you’re really listening to me.’”


Read more: The surprising sexual benefits of charity and kindness


It’s not the only word that relationship experts have banned couples from saying to one another.

Earlier this year, it was revealed that we ought to steer clear of the seemingly innocuous ‘should’ as well.

Writing in Psychology Today, Jeffrey Bernstein explained: “We tend to “should” all over our partners. Even if we think we’re only doing so in the privacy of our own minds, it can come out in our tone or actions.

“Thinking should about someone you love, or being on the receiving end of a ‘should,’ creates negative energy and, over time, can be toxic for any relationship, especially a loving one.”

We guess we'd better buy a thesaurus and start brushing up on our synonyms; whoever knew that language could be so very important?

Related

rexfeatures_5884661r.jpg

The four red flags that will spell trouble in any relationship

Untitled-1.jpg

Five words and phrases that trigger conflict in a relationship

65889071_thumbnail.jpg

One in five UK couples are at risk of break-up, report finds

Comments

More

“A teenage girl's first concert should be a rite of passage”

“And, last night it was snatched from their innocent hands”

by Lucy Foster
23 May 2017

Manchester attack: how you can help

The ways you can support the victims, survivors and investigation

by Amy Swales
23 May 2017

The entertainment world reacts to the Manchester terror attack

Tributes have poured in from stars across the globe following the tragedy

by Joe Ellison
23 May 2017

Manchester attack: the woman who heroically protected over 50 children

Paula Robinson has been praised for her heroism on social media

by Kayleigh Dray
23 May 2017

Manchester Arena blast: at least 22 dead and more than 50 injured

Home Secretary Amber Rudd has called it a “barbaric attack, deliberately targeting some of the most vulnerable in our society”

by Kayleigh Dray
23 May 2017

Everything you need to know about alkaline hydrolysis

It's an eco-friendly alternative to burials

by Sarah Biddlecombe
22 May 2017

How to chill a bottle of white wine in less than 3 minutes

Because who has time to wait for wine?

by Kayleigh Dray
22 May 2017

Bride’s wedding shoot with male bridesmaids goes viral

This computer engineer's bro-maids are basically awesome

by Amy Swales
22 May 2017

This is how you decide what to eat for lunch

Salad or sandwich?

by Sarah Biddlecombe
22 May 2017

How to tell if your friendship is failing - and how to fix it

These are the warning signs to look out for

by Sarah Biddlecombe
22 May 2017