Composing a work email calls for the knack of finding a balance between being both polite and professional – which can prove very tricky. Especially when you’ve been met with an out-of-the-blue passive aggressive meeting request while you were working your way, busily and quietly, through your ‘To Do’ list.
In our ideal work fantasy, we manage to gently eye roll, and fire back the best I’ve-taken-the-high-road response – with a subtle dose of ‘I’m not taking your crap’. However, most of us find ourselves obsessing over what we should have said, dreaming up the best retort a week later (because we’re good, nice people like that).
Which is why Danielle René, a writer and marketing consultant based in Washington, D.C., decided to start the mother of all Twitter threads.
Taking to the social media site on 22 August, René shared the ways in which she’s nailed the professional clapback with aplomb.
Check it out:
What is your favorite phrase to use in a professional clap back?— Millionaire la flare (@DeeRene_) 21 August 2017
Mine is "per my last email..."
Attaching emails to emails 😂your coworker was typing furiously a few minutes ago now it's— Millionaire la flare (@DeeRene_) 22 August 2017
"I must have missed this!"
Shut up, Jan.
Annnnd "this is outside my scope of work."— Millionaire la flare (@DeeRene_) 22 August 2017
I'm not doing your job. My job. And everybody's job. Nope. Lol
René, after seeing how much her tweets were resonating with the world, encouraged people everywhere to share their own clapbacks – with hilarious (albeit low-key passive aggressive) results.
Here are just a few of our favourites:
"As I previously stated"...— Kream Kardashian (@EyeSwear) 22 August 2017
"________ is CC'd"...
"If I understand you correctly"...
One of my fave coworkers taught me... "I'm happy to work on [x], but understand our timeline will be compromised on [z]. Boss be sick.— Bae. K. Rowling (@HeelsNheartbrk) 22 August 2017
"That's not my jurisdiction" 😂😂😂— Casey (@all2him1) 22 August 2017
2. Body: Per our conversation on (DATE) at (Time)... Furthermore...(because you always have a minimum of 3 receipts at this stage)— Ro,Ph.D. (@PhDiva3) 22 August 2017
There was one tweet, in particular, which stood out from the crowd.
In it, a social media user detailed the epic way in which she handled an academic adviser who criticised her work ethic during her honours degree.
1/ Ohhhhh I have such a story for this. So I had an advisor at school who never did her job. One day she requested an urgent meeting with me— Chloe 🏳️🌈 (@chlo_writes) 22 August 2017
2/ at 8 AM! I was very confused but I still went. At this 'meeting' she basically slammed me about not doing my part in the honors program— Chloe 🏳️🌈 (@chlo_writes) 22 August 2017
3/ I was shocked basically my roommate and I basically did every little honors program thing my advisor came up with b/c the requirements— Chloe 🏳️🌈 (@chlo_writes) 22 August 2017
4/ were stupid and not doable for students that were in the sciences. I got upset but I was polite in the meeting. After I calmed down I— Chloe 🏳️🌈 (@chlo_writes) 22 August 2017
5/ sent the mother of all clap back emails. I started with "I feel my meeting with you got off on the wrong foot this morning"— Chloe 🏳️🌈 (@chlo_writes) 22 August 2017
Then "per my last email and your files I attended (insert honors bullshit events here)." "If you look at my attached files you will see"— Chloe 🏳️🌈 (@chlo_writes) 22 August 2017
After I laid out every single honors class/event I'd taken/attended (30 events/classes) I ended with "in the future I'd prefer you not-— Chloe 🏳️🌈 (@chlo_writes) 22 August 2017
-blindside me with meetings where my character is being called into question." She replied with- thank you. and that was literally it.— Chloe 🏳️🌈 (@chlo_writes) 22 August 2017
The professional clapback is certainly an art form. Keep ALL the sass coming.