It’s not easy being a bridesmaid; not only are there questionable dresses and expensive hen parties to contend with, but you’re also expected to juggle wedding planning, approve Pinterest boards, book time off work for dress shopping, and, y’know, have stellar DIY skills.
However, as any seasoned bridesmaid will know, that’s all part of the job. And the reward, come the end of it all, is to be there with – and, more importantly, be there for – your best friend on her special day. After all, “friendship never ends”.
Unfortunately for one devastated bride, her own friends clearly didn’t grow up listening to the Spice Girls like we did.
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Taking to Reddit, the 21-year-old explains: “I've had the same small group of friends since middle school. Lately we've been growing apart, but I figured that was just due to college, work, etc. We still talk all the time.
“I'm the first person in our group to get engaged, and I was really excited to do all the fun bridesmaids things with them. They didn't seem to be excited for me, but I figured it was just because they were busy.”
She goes on to acknowledge that her pals have always been “kind of flaky”, recalling a birthday party where none of them showed up – and a housewarming that was met with “nothing but excuses”.
“I ended up snapping at them,” she admits, “and told them that I felt like I was only who still cared, and was still putting in effort in this relationship. They all felt bad and promised that we'd all get together in the near future… [but] my friends haven't really changed their ways.
“I tried to get them to come to an engagement party, but only my fiancé’s friends showed up. I tried to get them to throw me a bridal shower, but they didn't, and my mother and aunts ended up being the ones to throw it. I tried to get them to come to my bachelorette party, but my sister/maid-of-honour told me that they weren't really communicating with her on it. Which is twice as heart-breaking because they are bridesmaids.”
When they didn't turn up to go dress shopping, one cancelling just an hour beforehand, the bride was hurt – and felt forced to dole out the ultimate punishment.
“I talked with my fiancé about it, and we both decided that we wouldn't have anyone in the wedding party besides us and the officiant,” she explains. “His groomsmen were fine with that [and] my friends were indifferent.
“That's when I finally broke. I was so mad that they weren't even the slightest bit disappointed in not being my bridal party. I sent them a message in our group chat basically saying ‘since you don't seem to care, I'll take you off the invitations.’”
I sent them a message in our group chat basically saying ‘since you don't seem to care, I'll take you off the invitations.’
Now, however, after taking some time to think about the situation, the bride admits that she’s been having second thoughts.
“After a couple of days of them freaking out over text and me not answering their texts, I cooled down and realised that I had basically un-invited my only friends from my wedding.
“I feel terrible. I want to re-invite them and make amends, but I'm afraid it'll just be another cycle until I snap again. I don't want our group that had been together for almost a decade to be broken up because I had a tantrum. I asked my sister and she said to ditch them. But as I speak they are trying to scramble together a bachelorette party for me, and swearing that they'll make it up to me. The wedding is still a little bit away so there's still time to fix everything and even had a wedding party, but I'm sure if I should do that now.
“I’m at a loss and I don't know if I was justified in doing what I did, or if I was just being childish. I would really appreciate an outside perspective on this.”
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The response on Reddit has been overwhelming – and, for once, the majority of people seem to be on the bride’s side.
“I don't think you un-invited your friends because it doesn't really seem like they were your friends to begin with,” commented one.
Another added: “This isn't the end of any friendships, it's the beginning of your journey to finding actual fulfilling friendships.”
You can read the full post on Reddit.