Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Comedian brilliantly sums up the conflicting messages aimed at women

Screen Shot 2015-10-18 at 12.07.59.png

Stand-up comedian and writer Bisha Kanval Ali has written an excellent Facebook post, which is fast taking over the internet, summing up the conflicting messages women hear every day.

In her funny but searingly accurate post, Ali catalogues the things often said to young girls, teenagers, and women making choices about motherhood and marriage.

From what they should and shouldn’t wear to the politics of sex and dating, the comedian repeatedly hits the nail on the head, giving voice to the frustrations of women everywhere.

“You’re so adorable! You’re gonna be a heartbreaker one day. Your daughter’s so well behaved. Aren’t you pretty? If you...

Posted by Bisha K. Ali on Monday, 12 October 2015

Titled Some Stuff People Say to Other Humans, the post reads:

“You’re so adorable! You’re gonna be a heartbreaker one day. Your daughter’s so well behaved. Aren’t you pretty? If you give me a smile I’ll give you an extra one too. Do you like princesses? Girls aren’t ghostbusters, they’re princesses! You don’t like princesses? Aah you’re a tomboy, that’s cool too. Tomboys are always popular with the boys, but for the wrong reasons. If you want to get a boyfriend you’re better off not being a tomboy. Aren’t you a little young to be dating? Are you really going to wear that outfit? You’ll give people the wrong idea.

“Why don’t you show off some skin? Dress a little nicer, that way you’ll be able to find someone. No one’s gonna notice you dressed like that. Never on a first date. What do you mean you don’t feel ready, this is the third date? Frigid bitch.

“You fucked him on a first date? What a slut. Have you seen how she dresses? She’s begging for attention. You read comics? You must like all the attention you get from the guys. Oh you like video games? It’s not gonna score you any points you know.

“You can’t dress like that for work, too much leg and too much cleavage. You’re dressed inappropriately. “Aaah I’m so hungover, I got wasted last night and went home with this fit bird but I didn’t even get her name, haha.” Your outfit is distracting in the workplace. You’re gorgeous, I can’t believe you don’t have a boyfriend! You don’t have a boyfriend because you don’t take care of yourself. If you don’t love yourself, how will anyone ever love you?

“I can’t date someone who has been with more people than me, or who makes more money than me. Are you taking contraception? I don’t want to deal with all of that, so you should take care of it. Why are you taking contraception? Is it cause you’re sleeping around? He’s not good enough for you, you’re way out of his league. Why are you so stuck up? You should care more about what’s on the inside. He’s stunning, he’s way out of your league. When are you going to settle down?

Congratulations on your engagement, do you think you’ll take his name? It’s traditional, some traditions are just nice to keep up. You’re not changing your name to his, are you? Aren’t you an independent, free thinking woman?

“You don’t want kids? But being a mother is part of being a woman. A family isn’t complete without children, I have no idea why you wouldn’t want kids. You’re pregnant! That’s amazing. Did you plan it? Are you going to carry on working? So you’re going to be a stay at home Mum, huh? A housekeeper? Yeah they say it’s a “full time job.” You’re having a kid but you’re going to carry on with your career? Yeah, good luck with that. How can you abandon your children and let someone else raise them while you carry on working? People shouldn’t have kids if they can’t care for them.

“Oh wow, she’s so adorable! She’s gonna be a heartbreaker some day.”

Bisha K Ali Facebook comments

With nearly 2,000 shares and even more likes on Facebook, the original post has earned huge applause for its honesty. One woman comments: “This has made me feel so much better about myself today. Perspective be put sister.”

While another adds: “These opinions are so ingrained in society, it is not unreasonable to have said or thought some of them yourself. I think the important thing is to recognise how damaging that commentary can be and try to adjust your thinking.”

Responding to praise on Facebook, Ali clarifies the message behind her brilliant piece with yet another great one-liner: “An alternative title could be 'Everything Is Bullshit So Do Whatever You Want.’”

 

Related

rexfeatures_822105a.jpg

Brilliant parody blog gender-flips advice given to working mothers

rexfeatures_5249545b.jpg

Bradley Cooper speaks out against the gender pay gap

12033007_10206573649572420_2786700592232307966_n.jpg

Model writes powerful open letter to fashion industry

caitlin moran 4

Caitlin Moran on womanhood, abortion and female-only quotas

fridakahlo.png

Meet the artist transforming Bratz dolls into feminist icons

jlaw.JPG

Read Jennifer Lawrence's call to arms on the gender pay gap

Boudoir photographer photoshopping.jpg

Husband writes touching letter following wife's photoshopped images

rexfeatures_5212861av.jpg

Lena Dunham talks turning 30 and long-distance love

12079543_10100462098863196_8555655474792826945_n.jpg

Woman praises man who stood up against sexual harassment on a bus

Comments

More

Serena Williams had the best response for reporter who criticised her

"Are you serious?"

by Sarah Biddlecombe
20 Jan 2017

Married at First Sight’s Caroline reveals truth about marriage to Adam

Steel yourselves, romantics

by Kayleigh Dray
20 Jan 2017

Listen to A-listers narrate the history of Planned Parenthood

“No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body”

by Sarah Biddlecombe
19 Jan 2017

Wife Swap set to return with one-off Brexit special

What happens when a Remain voter finds herself living in a family of Brexit fans?

by Kayleigh Dray
19 Jan 2017

The 2017 Feminist Calendar: celebrate the sisterhood all year round

The future is female

by The Stylist web team
19 Jan 2017

Unicorn lattes are the new brunch trend taking over your Instagram

These healing concoctions are almost too pretty to drink

by Kayleigh Dray
19 Jan 2017

Will & Grace is officially coming back to TV and we can’t wait

NBC has ordered 10 new episodes of the iconic show to air later this year.

by Moya Crockett
19 Jan 2017

Men refuse to apply for jobs that use “feminine” words

They don't want to be "sympathetic" or "caring"

by Sarah Biddlecombe
19 Jan 2017

This new DIY divorce app vows to help you to ‘consciously uncouple’

Because there really is an app for everything nowadays

by Kayleigh Dray
18 Jan 2017

Rachel Court wants employers to watch for these abuse warning signs

A woman who survived being shot by her husband has shared a letter from her old boss, revealing the extent to which her partner controlled her life for years

by Kayleigh Dray
18 Jan 2017