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The 52 best, funniest, and saltiest feminist comebacks ever to grace the internet

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Ah, feminists.

If you delve into the misogynist depths of social media and read what some idiots people are saying about us, you’ll quickly come to the conclusion that we’re all unsmiling, embittered, sex-starved, man-hating witches. We keep our hair short, our shoes flat, and our bras brightly aflame. We mewl and cry over ‘silly’ first world issues (like, say, the fact that the USA’s pussy-grabbing president has waged war on our reproductive organs).

And, of course, we meet in secret and plot to capture every single male human, so that we can chain them up in an underground dungeon and milk them of their semen. Because, y’know, that’s what abolishing the patriarchy is really all about.

Perhaps the most common complaint about feminists, however, is that we don’t have a sense of humour. “It’s just a bit of banter,” misogynists will tell us, before ordering us to “lighten up” and (our favourite) “give us a smile”.

It goes without saying, of course, that they’ve got it completely wrong: feminists are actually really f**king funny. In fact, we’re probably the most hilarious people on the internet.


Read more: These shocking 21st century adverts are a grim reminder that sexism is alive and well


Don’t believe us? We’ll prove it.

Sit back and relax as we navigate you through the internet’s best, funniest, and – above all else – saltiest feminist comebacks ever.


1) On our eating habits

Netflix's Lili Reinhart wasn't impressed when her dinner was shamed on Twitter

Netflix's Lili Reinhart wasn't impressed when her dinner was shamed on Twitter

Lili Reinhart – who stars in Netflix’s Riverdale as Betty – recently shared a photo of herself tucking into a delicious plate of fried chicken and chips. But, as ever, there’s always someone out there to make you feel bad about yourself. 

*reminiscing about Comic Con* My dinner before an evening event.

A post shared by Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) on

That’s right: someone on Twitter, who has since deleted their tweet, decided to talk down to Lili for her choice in meal, saying that they were just so worried her acting career would be overshadowed by her weight. 

However Reinhart wasn’t about to let anyone make her feel bad for enjoying her dinner, and she quickly penned a response.

“Thank-you so much for being concerned about my weight,” she wrote. “I’ll respond later after my double cheeseburger.”

Epic.

We couldn’t have put it better ourselves.


2) On consent

Yet another reason to drink copious cups of tea.


3) On literally all men 

It’s even funnier if you imagine the sound effects. Trust us.


4) On showing more skin

There’s nothing we love more than an amazing show of feminist goodwill, unless, of course, it’s an amazing show of feminist goodwill with added potato skins.


5) And while we’re on the subject of girls showing too much skin...

If you find our outfits to be too distracting, you’re almost definitely the problem.


6) On make-up

‘Nuff said.


7) On make-up (again)

Exactly.


8) On catcalling

It may have been a sugary donut, but it made for one seriously salty comeback.


9) On those boring misconceptions about female drivers

Outstanding.


10) On female representation in TV and films

As a gender, we’re sure women could never even dream of understanding how it must feel to be treated like second-class citizens in Hollywood.


11) And on that note...

Anna Kendrick is the hero that women everywhere deserve, quite frankly.


12) And just one more...

We guess that means women were slaying at ghosting long before it was cool.


13) On double standards

Preach.


14) On how to respond to any guy who demands ‘entertainment’ on #TitsOutTuesday 

How do we love thee, feminist badasses of the Twitterverse? Let us count the ways…


15) On sexual harassment

He will have definitely needed a lot of ice for that killer burn.


16) On cleavage-shaming

When Susan Sarandon opted for a V-neck at the SAG Awards, she was criticised and hounded on social media by men and women alike for daring to show her cleavage. There was one person in particular, however, who wouldn’t leave her alone: television presenter and Daily Mail columnist, Piers Morgan. Which makes this salty #TBT photo all the more perfect.


17) On the Friend Zone

Flawless.


18) On body-shaming

We actually think that would make a pretty awesome TV show, to be honest…


19) On the concept of vanity

Who’s got a duck face now, eh?


20) On mansplaining

Yup, it seems as if Sophia has got Twitter well and truly covered.


21) On history

Maybe it’s witchcraft? Maybe it’s Maybelline.


22) On Instagram’s bizarre censorship rules

Remember: male nipples are absolutely fine. It’s female nipples that will make the world burn.


23) On those outdated gender stereotypes

Oh, misogynists – when will you learn? Also, get back in the garage: that fanbelt won’t tighten itself, y’know.


24) On expressing our emotions

This is, without a doubt, our favourite reductive description of a sportsgame ever.


25) On fashion

The menfolk will never see us coming.


26) And on that note...

Riddle us that, men of the world. Riddle us that.


27) On people who don’t like the word 'feminism’

Someone's going to need a lot of H2O after chowing down on that seriously salty comeback, we bet.


28) On periods

Any man who attempts to draw a correlation between a woman’s moods and her menstrual cycle is doomed to fail.


29) On sexist advertising

Hell hath no fury like a woman who’s been subjected to a misogynist billboard.


30) On the natural world

We finally figured out the backstory to Jaws, everybody.


31) On people who don't ‘believe’ in feminism

Consider the mic well and truly dropped.


32) On misogynist tabloid headlines

Someone had to do it.


33) On meninists and Piers Morgan

Nick Offerman, we salute you.


34) On marriage

For those who are wondering, the Oxford Dictionary defines ‘radical’ as “advocating or based on thorough or complete political or social change; representing or supporting an extreme or progressive section of a political party”.

So, yeah, getting married to someone you don't hate, we guess.


35) On the fragile concept of masculinity

See also: every single beauty product that proudly declares it’s “for men”. And Yorkie chocolate bars.


36) On household chores

Best. Listicle. Ever.


37) On ‘female privilege’

We’re going to have to start using the word ‘f**knuts’ more often.


38) On pregnancy

Remember what we said about milking the semen of manacled men? We won’t need to bother if we figure this out.


39) On the ‘weaker sex’

Absolutely.


40) On telling us to smile

Fun experiment: let’s all try telling strange men to ‘smile’ and report back our findings at the end of the week.


41) On sexist dress codes

That’s one way to trump the Trump.


43) On boringly misogynist assumptions

The power of a good hashtag is undeniable.


44) On social media trolls

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to invite JK Rowling along.


45) On being asked to appear on live TV alongside Piers Morgan

Consider yourself owned, Morgan.


46) On everyone balking at the idea of an all-female Ghostbusters film

 

The woman is a genius.


47) On sexist social media comments

Yes. So much yes.


48) On the arrogance of men

It truly is, doesn’t it?


49) On 2017 in general

We guess there’s always a silver lining somewhere, if you look really, really, really hard for it…


50) On female dragonflies

We’ve literally never related to anything more.


51) On our reproductive choices

We couldn't have put it better ourselves.


52) And on those outdated gender narratives

We could use the money. Consider us commissioned, Alison Becker.

Images: Twitter/iStock

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