Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

Goldie Hawn reveals surprise secret to her and Kurt Russell’s long-lasting relationship

goldie hawn.jpg

Goldie Hawn has been with Kurt Russell for 34 years – and now, in a candid interview, she has revealed the secret to their long-lasting relationship.

No, it’s not about seeking perfection, or a state of loved-up bliss: all couples have their rough patches, everybody disagrees sometimes, and fighting is inevitable. Hawn is incredibly firm about that.

Instead, the 71-year-old says that couples need to acknowledge the need to argue – and make sure that they conduct their disagreements in a good and healthy way.

“You have to learn how to work your way through an argument and be skilful about it and resolve it,” she told The Mirror.

“Things happen during a marriage or a union, things that are said that shouldn’t have been said, or things that are done that shouldn’t have been done, or you feel neglected.”

Read more: The compulsive Instagram habit that spells bad news for your relationship

Hawn added: “If two people really want to be together there's something to cherish, so you keep it fresh by surprising each other. Go to a hotel room, go take a hike. Make something happen that's unusual.”

So how does one argue in the correct way?

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell in 1987

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell in 1987

Well, John Gottman, a professor of psychology who specialises in martial stability, has revealed that we need to avoid “the four horsemen of the apocalypse” when fighting with our partners.

These are:

  • Criticism (framing complaints in the context of a defect in your partner)
  • Contempt (name calling, eye rolling, sneering, mockery, and hostile humour)
  • Defensiveness (making excuses to explain away your actions)
  • Stonewalling (withdrawing from a conversation, even if physically present)

Gottman also encourages couples to stop using the word “you” in arguments, and choosing instead to use the word “I” – and to work on their marriage each and every single day, rather than just when it is in trouble.

“Reunite at the end of the day and talk about how it went,” he says. This will help to bleed off stress from the day, and stop it from negatively affecting your relationship.

“I mean, come on. We're human beings.”

“I mean, come on. We're human beings.”

Hawn – who says she prefers to remain as Russell’s girlfriend rather than become his wife (“we have independence, but two pillars hold up the house”) – also suggests that couples should accept the fact that they are going to find other people attractive during their relationship.

Instead of burying those feelings, Hawn suggests that couples take a leaf out of her and 66-year-old Russell’s book: open up, be honest, and recognise fleeting crushes as just that.

Read more: The bad relationship habits that kill romance

Hawn explained: “I'm sure I've been party to it, and Kurt's been - we're all normal this way. It's like, ‘You really liked that guy, didn't you?’ Or the woman says, ‘You were looking at her.’ My answer would be, ‘Of course. Why not? She's beautiful.’

“Would you want a man who doesn't look? Who doesn't feel inspired by the beauty or the curves of a woman's body? Or the way she is?”

The Snatched star added: “I mean, come on. We're human beings.”

Images: Rex Features



The best (and worst) love advice from teen magazines


Why “never go to bed angry” isn’t just an old wives’ tale


The two words that are key to a happy relationship


The best and coolest gluten-free restaurants, cafes and bakeries in the UK

We bring you 29 places to chow down sans gluten

23 Aug 2017

Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner unveil their Ned Stark impressions

Spoiler: they’re hilarious

by Amy Swales
23 Aug 2017

Sylvanian Families has been given a seriously adult makeover

We’re obsessed with these furry foul-mouthed critters

by Kayleigh Dray
23 Aug 2017

The second series of Victoria has an important mental health storyline

The ITV show is tackling issues as relevant now as ever

by Amy Swales
23 Aug 2017

This terrifying new TV series relives the horror of Trump’s election

Lena Dunham, Sarah Paulson and Emma Roberts will star in the new series of American Horror Story

by Moya Crockett
23 Aug 2017

Woman ghosted by her ex gets ultimate revenge by becoming his boss

Revenge is sweet

by Megan Murray
23 Aug 2017

Former Lioness says women’s football has a toxic culture of bullying

Ex-England player Eni Aluko has spoken out about her time on the team.

by Moya Crockett
23 Aug 2017

Thought-provoking illustrations reveal hidden secrets of strangers

The artist was met with “unexpected confessions”

by Sarah Biddlecombe
22 Aug 2017

The most annoying Tube habits, as ranked by irritated Londoners

“Could you move down, please?”

by Amy Swales
22 Aug 2017

These are the main reasons relationships end, according to a new study

...and the reasons couples stay together

by Megan Murray
22 Aug 2017