Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

“We’re each the trampoline upon which the other one bounces.” The greatest quotes from GBBO's Sue and Mel

12112110_907633795986945_350255798639059896_n.png

2016, you haven't been kind to us. We've lost idols, the EU and now... Sue and Mel. 

Yesterday, the witty duo announced that they will be leaving The Great British Bake-Off when it moves from BBC to Channel 4 next year. 

Of course, true to their form, the pair served up a great big pun to explain their departure.

“We're not going with the dough,” they said, making reference to the fact that Channel 4 outbid the show's home channel.

Since the programme launched in 2010, Sue and Mel have brightened up our screens with their loveable banter, ever-so-cheeky innuendos and clear-cut friendship (they’ve known each other for 27 years). They're undoubtedly one of the best presenting duos on British television.

While we process the news of their withdrawal from future GBBOs, we look to Sue and Mel's wit from past seasons for some light relief...


They know just how important cake is.

Sue: “I’ve got a real treat for you. Tasty, beautiful, unmistakably French…”
Mel: “Is it Thierry Henry?”
Sue: “No, he’s still safe in my basement. It’s Patisserie Week.”

Mel: “Today is very exciting. It’s the thing I love most in the world.”
Sue: “Guinea pigs?”
Mel: “No, chocolate.”

Mel: `”Life is like a bowl of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
Sue: “Chocolate?”

Sue: “Four bakers are fighting for their lives…is that too dramatic?
Mel: “It’s never too dramatic. It’s cakes, biscuits and desserts we’re talking about”  

They have a no-holds-barred policy to describe a bake...

Mary: “Why shouldn’t a bun be round?”
Mel: “My buns are round. Always.”

Sue: “Get those ladyfingers soggy”

Sue: “You can’t keep a tart waiting. Time is money, time is money”

Sue: “Stand away from your hot baps, stand away.”

Sue: “You have two hours to achieve ultimate moistness”

Mel to Mary Berry: “You like your nuts chunky”

Sue: “They’re sort of the page 3 of drizzle”

Mel: “Keep an eye on your jugs”

Sue: ”Stop touching your dough balls"

Sue on Tamal’s bake: “Messy top, tidy bottom.”

Sue: “Underlay, underlay - as a Mexican carpet-fitter once said.”

Sue Perkins and Mel, GBBO

...of course, until a little censorship arrived.
 
Sue: “Good morning, bakers. The following signature challenge has been assessed by the Double Entendre Police and I’m delighted to inform you that Paul and Mary would love you to make cream horns. And there’s nothing fun to say about that whatsoever.”

They offered essential cooking tips and advice.

Mel: “When Madonna makes cream horns, she simply uses her bra. If you’ve got one of those conical bras, you can do that.”

Sue (on crème brûlée): “Finally, a signature challenge where it’s OK to burn the living hell out of something.”

Sue (on crème brûlée): “What wobble are you looking for? A Kim Kardashian? A Jessica Rabbit?” 

Sue (on a piece of dough fallen on the floor): “Do you know what, I’ll eat that later. I don’t even joke. Listen (folds in half) - pasty.”

Sue: “I always serve gin and tonic with just a little bit of regret.”

GBBO

And they were very nice about telling contestants to hurry up.

Mel: “Bakers you’ve got an hour until we want to hear the pitta patter of tiny breads coming up to the table.”

Sue: “OK bakers, just two minutes until we release the man-gorilla that is Paul Hollywood.”

Mel: “OK bakers, string up the bunting. This bun ting is over.”

Sue: “OK bakers, 15 minutes until your ganache hits my ga-nashers.”

Sue and Mel GBBO

But the best is when they're talking about each other...

Interviewer Eva Wiseman: How has the show affected your friendship?
Mel: “Friends before work.”
Sue: “Absolute pure love.”
Mel: “I really look forward to hanging about and titting around.”

Sue: “I wouldn’t do [the show] without Mel, because we’re each the trampoline upon which the other one bounces. You can’t just have a Sue sandwich, it has to be a Mel and Sue sandwich. It gives you more depth of bite.”

Related

rexfeatures_3761924an.jpg

Mel and Sue to quit Great British Bake Off

bake off mary berry innuendo.jpg

Bake Off turns filthy: the show's 10 most hilarious innuendos

TipsyTriffle.jpg

Gin cocktail recipes inspired by Great British Bake Off

rexfeatures_5239214y.jpg

Bake Off's Nadiya on overcoming self-doubt after nearly quitting show

megan2.JPG

The best illustrators to follow on Instagram

rexfeatures_5234515aj.jpg

“I wasn’t thinking about representing Muslims. Only my bakes”

More

20 soothing, beautiful songs guaranteed to help you fall asleep

An expert picks the ultimate classical music playlist

by Sarah Biddlecombe
20 Oct 2017

Puppy dog eyes are a thing and your dog makes them just for you

A study says dogs change their facial expressions when humans are looking

by Amy Swales
20 Oct 2017

Here’s how to buy a house or a flat for the princely sum of £1

It's time to enter the real-estate raffle

by Megan Murray
20 Oct 2017

Oxford University under fire for shocking lack of racial diversity

One MP called the revelations an example of “social apartheid”

by Moya Crockett
20 Oct 2017

This prosecco festival is the best way to start feeling Christmassy

Bubbles, bubbles everywhere

by Susan Devaney
20 Oct 2017

Missing your 16-25 railcard? We have good news for you

Rail bosses have taken pity on cash-strapped millennials

20 Oct 2017

This man’s response to his friend’s period while hiking is everything

“I had NOTHING on me and I was wearing shorts”

by Susan Devaney
20 Oct 2017

Why anxiety makes it harder to follow your intuition

It can have a paralysing effect on decision-making

by Anna Brech
19 Oct 2017

“Why all men must work to stamp out sexual harassment and abuse”

In wake of the Weinstein allegations, one writer argues why men need to be counted

19 Oct 2017

Rage, lust, power and warmth: how it feels to experience ‘red emotions

“I grew up being told my body was terrifying and my voice was unimportant”

by The Stylist web team
19 Oct 2017