Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Being sexually attracted to someone else makes your relationship stronger, study finds

lost-in-translation.jpg

Are you in a long-term relationship?

The next time your eye dwells on the handsome stranger in the coffee shop, there's no need to feel bad.

According to a new study, not only are you in good company - a staggering 70% of women have had a crush on someone who isn't their partner - but such harmless eyeing up may actually boost your sex life. 

Sexual health researchers from Columbia University, Indiana University and the University of Kentucky-Lexington surveyed 160 women in relationships of three years or longer to explore their experiences with attractions and feelings for people outside their primary romantic partner.

In the anonymous internet-based study, women were asked open-ended questions about the kinds of sexual attractions they had, and their strategies for dealing with them.

Those questioned were typically married to highly educated men and were aged from 19 to 56 years old.

Brief Encounter

Brief encounter? Casual flirtation without any action can be good for your relationship

The results, published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, showed that 70 percent of women had at some point experienced a crush on someone else while dating their current partner. 

And unsurprisingly, most of those objects of desire came in the form of people at work.

But the key point was that the women questioned weren't worried about the significance of being sexually attracted to someone else. Most felt it had no impact on their primary relationship - to the point that they did not even tell their partner about it - and some even felt their infatuation enhanced it.

"Women had varied experiences with, and diverse strategies for, managing crushes," the authors wrote. "The majority of women reported the crush did not impact their relationship, participants also reported that these crushes improved their desire for their partner."

For these women, the crush acted as a conduit to sexual desire with their partner, as they "described transferring the emotion from the crush to the partner and acting on this with their partner."

The researchers concluded that "women often funneled increased sexual desire from a crush into their primary relationship." 

Related

seasonsmarie-960x720.jpg

These photos of a 97-year-old woman's life will fill you with joy

TRU1334869_rt.jpg

Mindy Kaling talks love, feminism and therapy with Stylist

pink.PNG

The important life lessons Cher Horowitz taught us

rexfeatures_4900230al.jpg

Gwyneth Paltrow on rising above 'difficult' divorce for her children

hero.jpg

'My nightmare Tinder date exposed an unsaid culture of body shaming'

my girl.JPG

Making the first move: Stylist speaks to four women who did

Comments

More

Prosecco tea is the ultimate drink for the office

It’s basically Prosecco, minus the hangover…

by Kayleigh Dray
06 Dec 2016

This is why people stay in miserable relationships

New research reveals why people stay with partners who don’t make them happy.

by Moya Crockett
05 Dec 2016

Age UK’s Christmas 2016 advert is heart-breaking, but so important

No one should have no one at Christmas

by Kayleigh Dray
05 Dec 2016

You need to see the 2-minute love story that’s going viral on Facebook

It has a powerful and unexpected message at its core

by Kayleigh Dray
05 Dec 2016

This app tracks women’s experiences of cat-calling

Reclaim the streets.

by Moya Crockett
05 Dec 2016

11 hearty sandwich recipes that are better than a full Sunday Roast

Sandwiches are the new Sunday lunch.

by Amy Lewis
05 Dec 2016

These are the alcoholic drinks least likely to give you a hangover

Or, how to make the Christmas party season a bit more bearable.

by Moya Crockett
05 Dec 2016

How it feels to be a woman in America right now

"There is a sense of impending doom"

02 Dec 2016

Viewers slam Eamonn Holmes for ‘sexist’ treatment of GBBO's Candice

“He’s making me so uncomfortable – poor Candice”

by Kayleigh Dray
02 Dec 2016

The 12 surprising health benefits of mulled wine

Mulled wine, how do we love thee? Let us count the ways…

by Kayleigh Dray
02 Dec 2016