Whether you want it to happen or not, a TV reboot of Heathers is on the way very soon.
Now the cast has finally been revealed… and f**k us gently with a chainsaw, because it’s a very surprising one indeed.
They've opted almost entirely for complete newcomers.
As fans will no doubt remember, the original black comedy focused on the disenchanted Veronica (Winona Ryder) and her rebellious boyfriend J.D. (Christian Slater), as they attempted to deal with sexual taboos, bullying teens, and the social order of their high school.
Things quickly spiral out of control, and it’s not long before the plot takes a very dark twist indeed.
Think murder, blackmail, and falsified suicides – all wrapped up with a plethora of covetable knee-length plaid skirts, blazers with shoulder pads that could take your eye out, oversized hairdos and scrunchies.
Ah, the 80s.
So who has network TV Land selected for our modern-day retelling of the cult 1988 classic?
Well, Heather McNamara (originally portrayed by Lisanne Falk) will be played by newcomer Jasmine Mathews, and Heather Chandler (originally portrayed by Kim Walker) will be played by rising Broadway star Melanie Field.
Meanwhile Heather Duke (originally portrayed by Shannen Doherty) will be played by Brendan Scannell; according to The Hollywood Reporter, the “new version of the character is a male who identifies as gender-queer whose real name is Heath”.
Read more: Let's talk about the TV version of Heathers
James Scully is set to take on the role of J.D., and Under the Dome’s Grace Victoria Cox will play Veronica.
It’s also been revealed that the show, which will be filmed with a single camera, is going to reimagine Heathers as an anthology – with each season focusing on a different heroine and a new (yet equally vicious) set of mean girls.
It will also, as you may have guessed (unless you had a brain tumour for breakfast), be set in the present day.
The “pitch black” pilot is expected to shoot this fall with Leslye Headland (Sleeping With Other People, Bachelorette) attached to direct.
It is thought that the show will air sometime in 2017, although a date has yet to be confirmed.