Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

Three ways to bounce back from life’s challenges and move onto the next chapter

bouncing ball.jpg

In her groundbreaking tome, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, American psychologist Susan Jeffers teaches the mantra: “Whatever happens, I’ll handle it.”

It’s testament to the fact that what scares us in life is not so much that unexpected or bad things that will happen – they are, after all, unknown – but the worry that we won’t be able to cope as a result.

Tenacity is the greatest weapon we can arm ourselves with, when tackling challenges and hardships that are thrown are way.

“Resilience is the ability to not just bounce back, but bounce forward,” writes Californian self-help author Sandy Peckinpah, in a new article for Thrive Global.

“Each one of us has experienced changes caused by life-altering events. Some are stage-of-life occurrences, like an empty nest, ageing, retirement. Others emerge from unplanned circumstances like loss, divorce, financial ruin, or a health crisis.”

Read more: small ways to tackle big anxieties

Peckinpah has first-hand experience of this experience, having tragically lost her son aged 16. Her fear, she says, is that she’d never recover from the staggering loss.

Yet, she managed to move forward – and despite what people told her, it was not time that healed but how she treated that time.

“The unwritten pages of the future might feel uncertain, even scary at times. The ability to activate resilience guarantees your ability to move forward,” she writes.

Here are three of Peckinpah’s tips for developing resilience, no matter what barriers lie in your way:

Keep climbing up...

Keep climbing up...

Use fear as a motivation

“Ask any successful person if they felt fear going to their next level, they will tell you yes, but they made fear work for them,” Peckinpah writes. Actor, Henry Fonda was so nervous going on stage, he’d throw up before each performance, even at 75! In other words, fear doesn’t always go away, and fear isn’t necessarily negative. Fear can indicate something you want so much, that it frightens you. Go for it.”

Break the pattern when you’re feeling down

This method is known as “pattern interrupt.”

“If you’re feeling down, visit a zoo, a pet shelter, the ocean, or a park,” explains Peckinpah. “Call an old friend, or take a trip to the grocery store. It will force you to get out of the house and break the pattern.”

Enlist a dream team

“Make use of your friends, a coach, a therapist, a mentor, or enroll in a program that will guide you,” says Peckinpah. “My whole life changed when I surrendered to the fact I needed help. I use the word ‘surrender’ because my unyielding pride kept saying, I should be able to do this on my own.

“Ask trusted friends for support and in turn, be a good friend to them. Enlist mentors for specific guidance and create professional alliances for business help. Draw from this pool of strength… your Dream Team.”

Images: iStock


Victoria at work.jpg

Golden rules of work happiness from Europe’s female tech leaders

sologamy uk marry yourself.jpg

Why do people marry themselves? The rise of the sologamist wedding


People are more scared of deadlines than they are of actually dying


The deadly secret hidden within that creepy Game of Thrones hug

Spoilers are coming…

by Kayleigh Dray
18 Aug 2017

Why it’s totally fine if you don’t have a ‘work wife’

Having friends at work is nice – but it’s not the be all and end all

by Moya Crockett
18 Aug 2017

Meteorologist’s epic response to troll who called her “disgusting”

“Enough is enough.”

by Sarah Biddlecombe
18 Aug 2017

Acts of love, humanity and solidarity following the Barcelona attack

In the darkness, there is light.

by Moya Crockett
18 Aug 2017

How you can help those caught up in the Barcelona attack

The ways you can support the victims, survivors and investigation

by Kayleigh Dray
18 Aug 2017

People are furious about Trump’s response to the Barcelona attack

The world is sick of his double-standard on terrorism

by Kayleigh Dray
18 Aug 2017

Ryan Phillipe on how he tackles depression

“I’m thinking about how to focus and steady myself”

by Susan Devaney
17 Aug 2017

Are black girls being forced to grow up too fast?

A study has shown that black girls as young as five are seen as more adult than their white peers

by Kemi Alemoru
17 Aug 2017

Teen receives sickening messages after asking for career advice

This businessman's response was shocking

by Sarah Biddlecombe
17 Aug 2017

We want everything from this new high-street Disney collaboration

Seriously magical

by Megan Murray
17 Aug 2017