Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Enter the Moan Zone: A guide to female erogenous zones and ways to make each area feel amazing

sex.jpg
alix fox

Some women climb into bed with a partner (or alone) and within minutes they’ve made it to the finish line. Others require more bespoke attention to get into the ‘moan zone’. Either way, there are some areas of the body which will get you in the mood, no matter your preferences. Here, sex educator Alix Fox has written a fail-safe guide to your intimate pleasure points. Go forth and thank us later.


I’ve always been iffy about the idea of ‘erogenous zones’. For a start, they sound like something that might land you with a fifty quid fine if you accidentally drive your car through one.

And no-one seems to know how many there are supposed to be. In a famous episode of Friends, Monica schools Chandler that there are precisely seven of these sexually sensitive locations scattered across a woman’s skin – yet I recently attended a talk held by female-focused, sex-positive group Scarlet Ladies where tantric yoga expert Catherine Dunworth stated that there are actually scores more. She believes women can experience over 70 different types of orgasm if these myriad magical, mystical hot spots are skilfully stimulated.

Yup: apparently, there are more classifications of climax and excitable areas of the body than there are Heinz varieties (and only some of them involve ‘flicking your bean’).

But however many possible pleasurable places you believe there are, it’s indisputable that a bit that feels wonderful to one person when tongued or tickled may feel woeful for another. Monica names ‘ears’ as one of her heptad of horny regions, yet I know ladies who’d rather live out that scene in Se7en where Brad Pitt finds his wife’s head in a box than have anyone venture near their lobes.

“Sex tends to be much better if we go in with the assumption that everyone’s body looks different, works differently, feels different, and responds differently,” agree Meg-John and Justin, authors of Enjoy Sex (How, When and If You Want To). “We could even go so far as to say that every single encounter involves a new body, given that the same person’s body – a partner’s or our own – feels different on different occasions.”

Accepting, then,  that everybody has idiosyncratic – and constantly evolving – sensual tastes, and given that almost anywhere has the potential to feel good to someone when stimulated, is a list of ‘female erogenous zones and ways to play with them’ truly of use?

The answer is yes, absolutely: so long as you treat it as a suggested menu of sites, touches and techniques to explore, to help you work out what works for you, rather than a definitive set of rules that state ‘Prodding Area X will definitely give you a Big O’.

So, in the spirit of adventure, let’s take a tour of some of the most ‘obvious’ female erogenous zones to discover new ways you may please them – as well as uncovering some more surprising districts where deliciousness could be hiding…

1) The lips

lips

“I attended a workshop taught by legendary American sexologist Annie Sprinkle on ‘extreme kissing’: 30 minutes of snogging, licking, sucking and gentle biting with your partner,” says actress Debra Watson from Gimme Gimme Gime More! LOVE – a performance on the themes of desire and dating. “You’re not allowed to touch the genitals at all, yet it’s profoundly sexy and energising.”

Dr Karen Gurney, psychosexologist at The Havelock Clinic, concurs: “In long-term relationships, deep kissing is often relegated to becoming merely a predictable indicator that sex is on the cards,” she says. “It’s worth resurrecting passionate kissing as a sensual, erotic activity in its own right, without any intention that it will lead further.”

Try suggesting to your partner that you concentrate only on kissing until the sun goes down, or while a favourite mood-setting album plays in its entirety.

“As well as the lips, the roof of the mouth is packed with nerve endings,” adds Lovehoney sex expert Annabelle Knight. Brush your tongue along your palate and focus on the sensation – this can be a great meditative technique to make you more aware of your physicality and ‘tuned into your body’ before other play.

2) The neck

neck

“When I was a teenager I thought my G-spot was somehow in my neck,” laughs Virginia Sofia Cerrone, co-founder of luxury sex boutique Pure Eros. “Soft touches in the area just under my ears seems to send thrills straight to my clitoris. I love it when my partner licks me there, then blows lightly across the skin; I’m intrigued by a new series of wearable sex toys that are being developed called Wisp, which use tiny fans to give a similar effect.”


Read more: Finding the fireworks: five orgasm myths busted and how to have better sex


Want to explore exquisite necks-level thrills on your own? Stash a long metal pendant-style necklace in the fridge; take a hot shower; then drape the cool chain around your neck and use the cold charm to caress your nipples, chest and collar bones.

3) The eyes

eyes

It’s often said that men are more turned on by sexual visuals than women – but that doesn’t mean that lustful lasses don’t get a rush from an erotic eyeful, either.

“We surveyed nearly 100 women, and 73% agreed that watching themselves and their partners get saucy enhanced their sex lives,” says Elizabeth Gordon, director of Luvsense. They make the Luvvu: a double-sided, adjustable-angle round mirror that suspends above your bed, with a quick release mechanism that allows you to take it down and stash it away when you don’t want visitors to know you’ve been delighting in the sight of yourself getting busy.

“The reflection from above is flattering and revealing, plus the Luvvu is tinted an atmosphere-enhancing red on one surface – a bit like having your own personal Snapchat filter in the boudoir,” she explains.

Using a mirror whilst experimenting with role play or dressing up can heighten the sense of escapism: it’s almost like you’re watching yourself in a film. Try using your finger to spell out X-rated demands on a steam-fogged bathroom mirror, too.

Prefer to look at other hotties’ botties rather than your own? “Erika Lust creates female-friendly porn that centres on the feminine experience,” says Louise Orwin, creator of Oh Yes Oh No, a play about female sexual desire. “Her films are made for the Instagram age: beautifully shot, with relatable bodies, and a distinct lack of punish-f**king. They’re brilliant for anyone interested in exploring porn, but who feels alienated by mainstream smut.”

4) The clitoris

clitoris mouse

No shuddering s***, Sherlock. You probably already know that the majority of women require clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm – but are you aware of the latest toys designed to deliver it?

The most modern sex toys on the block like the Satisfyer and the Hiky don’t even touch the clitoris directly, instead using pulses of suction or ‘pressure waves’ to give a contactless massage. If traditional buzzing vibrators leave you numb or sore, these sexy suckers might be more your cuppa. “Pressure waves feel intense, but natural, like a lover’s mouth,” says Satisfyer’s Jerome Bensimon. “Try using suction toys on nipples too, or in the bath – water enhances the feelings.”

If you need hardcore vibration to get you to O Town, check out the O Wand: a cordless, rechargeable toy with comparable oomph to a mains-powered model, that boasts various attachments to make it more versatile. Look out for a new launch in coming weeks from Hot Octopuss, too: the makers of the world’s first highly innovative ‘guybrator’ are about to unleash a ladies’ gadget.

While we’re talking technology, if you’re struggling with a weak pelvic floor (as one in three women do after having a baby, for example) you could be experiencing stress incontinence and sex that’s not so satisfying. Check out vSculpt, a vibrator that gives more than just good vibes. It uses mild heat and light therapy (the same methods employed in upmarket facial spa treatments) as it buzzes, to tone and repair vaginal tissues. Results in tests are impressive.

Prefer being stroked by real human digits than something digital? “Too many men approach the clitoris like they’re ringing a door bell – index finger pointing and pressing or rubbing directly on to the clit's 8000 nerve-endings… ouch!” says Renee Denyer of Sh! Erotic Emporium. “Instead, have him slick a little lube on his index and middle fingers, and gently slide around the sides of the clit.”

5) The lungs

lungs

“People frequently mistake erogenous zones as only being areas that can be directly touched with the hands,” observe Mike Lousada and Louise Mazanti, authors of Real Sex: Why Everything You Learnt About Sex is Wrong. “Controlling your breathing during intimate play can help you feel relaxed and grounded, but if you concentrate, you can even gain pleasure from feelings inside the lungs themselves: hone in on the subtle sensation of air travelling in and out of your chest, the expansion and contraction, the internal pulsation.”

That may sound so hippie that it ought to come with its own pair of whimsical dreamcatcher earrings and be draped in a tie-dye poncho, but in truth, making yourself hyper-aware of your breathing – a reflex action that is usually automated and ignored – truly can make you feel exceptionally in touch with your body to an almost transcendental degree. I’ve found that if I inhale deeply through my nose while masturbating, and pay attention to the cool air rushing into my head and down my throat, it can push me over into orgasm.

“Deep, slow breathing, right into the pit of your stomach, can coax out a climax,” Renee Denyer affirms. “Many women pant fast and high up in their chest during sex, which can give you a headache rather than a high.”

6) The chest

chest

“The nipples and areolas are extremely sensitive, but try swirling your fingers over your breasts without touching them at all, or ask your lover to do this – a simple but highly effective tease,” recommends Tracey Cox. “Stroke the soft skin underneath the nipples, too; some women find that the most overwhelming area of their bosom.”

You could invest in a scented moisturising massage candle which melts at a low temperature: drizzle the warm liquid over your breasts, then stroke the nourishing oil into your gleaming skin. I love these Jimmy Jane candles, in stylish porcelain pots with clever spouts to pour the molten wax with. This is gorgeous to perform as a private, personal pampering ritual, as well as with a partner.


Read more: Pucker up: the eight surprising health benefits of kissing


“To up the intensity, choose coloured wax play candles, which burn hotter for those who appreciate mild pain, but are still safe,” advises Morpheous, author of How To Be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide To BDSM“Hold them high and slowly drip beautiful patterns across the breasts. Add an extra element of temperature play by setting the wax with ice cubes.”

7) The wrists 

wrist

“There are a huge number of nerve endings in the wrists – they’re a luscious yet oft-overlooked area,” says Seani Love, an award-winning teacher of tantra and ‘conscious kink’. “Discover them on your own right now: slowly brush up, down and around one wrist with the fingertips of your other hand. Even after 10 or 20 seconds you'll start to feel a nice tingly, awakening sensation, which can be even stronger if you do this with a lover.”

For more adventurous couples who are beginning to explore kink, there’s Seani’s ‘Behold: Be Held’ exercise, which helps you both experiment with dominance and submission, and test your boundaries in an extremely tender manner.

“Ask your lover to hold your wrist in a loose but strong way, so that there's very little tension but you can't actually escape their grip,” he instructs. “When you try to move your wrist in any direction, your lover should hold tighter in order to keep it in the same position.

“When you stop struggling, your lover should loosen their grip again. It should feel like an effort and a struggle to move away from them, yet beautifully serene, sweet and connected when you are still.

“This simple technique will help you explore the idea of surrender, which can be extremely erotic.”

8) The vulva

vagina

Lots of ladies tend to head straight for the clitoris when they get themselves off, but the entire vulva can serve up a platter of pleasure. “Melt some natural coconut oil or cocoa butter in your hands, then gradually massage the whole area with your palms,” suggests Adele Brydges, who hand-crafts deluxe designer ceramic sex tools.

“Warming lube feels amazing stroked into the vulva, especially after a Brazilian; the bare-nakedness enhances the sensation,” adds Renee Denyer.

Switch sensation up again by donning a latex or satin glove while you touch yourself. Yes, you may look like a masturbating Michael Jackson as you jack off – but if it feels good, is that really so bad?

Images: iStock

Related

When-Harry-Met-Sally-when-harry-met-sally-restaurant.jpg

Five orgasm myths busted and how to have better sex

iStock_89857795_LARGE.jpg

Pucker up: the eight surprising health benefits of kissing

sex.jpg

Is this the secret to better sex in a long term relationship?

More

Dame Helen Mirren has her say on Ivanka and Melania Trump

She’s not one to bite her tongue

by Susan Devaney
16 Aug 2017

These are the most-searched gender-neutral baby names in the UK

Parents are increasingly leaning towards androgynous names, according to new research.

by Moya Crockett
16 Aug 2017

How to stop negative news stories impacting your mental health

14 ways to stay calm when the world’s headlines trigger your anxiety

by Kayleigh Dray
16 Aug 2017

Cadbury coated Oreos are a thing and they look ridiculously good

Oreo addicts, this is essential reading

by Megan Murray
16 Aug 2017

Everything we know so far about The Handmaids Tale 2

Here’s what we can expect to happen in the second series

16 Aug 2017

Customers refuse to tip waitress after spotting her pro-LGBT tattoo

“Can’t tip someone who doesn’t love Jesus”

by Susan Devaney
16 Aug 2017

The most uplifting tweets about the Charlottesville violence

Obama's message became the most liked tweet in history

by Sarah Biddlecombe
16 Aug 2017

Game of Thrones fans, could this be Cersei’s secret son?

Read on at your own peril…

by Kayleigh Dray
16 Aug 2017

Woman sparks debate after complaining about “cheap” engagement ring

How much is not enough?

by Kayleigh Dray
16 Aug 2017

Sex toy reviewer is a job and it pays £28,000 (with unlimited holiday)

Get paid to do something you really love: you

by Kayleigh Dray
16 Aug 2017