Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Mickey Two Suits, Staring Pervert and Flat Cap Coke Fiend: London pub's list of barred customers is a book waiting to be written

herne hill london pub barred list half moon crop.jpg

As anyone who has ever worked in a bar or pub knows, there are some people it’s just not worth serving.

And, as this colourful list from London pub Half Moon illustrates, often you need rather, well, descriptive shorthand so all staff know who’s allowed in and who to go all Peggy Mitchell on and turf out without ceremony.

In this case, that includes Mickey Two Suits, Staring Pervert and Flat Cap Coke Fiend, not to mention The Glaswegian, Fat Paul and, er, Gus and his mate Mark.

What One-Armed Keith and That Blonde Bitch did to offend, we can only speculate, but there’s always hope someone will make use of these incredible characters in a book, or – as a few people have pointed out – send them Guy Ritchie’s way for a ready-made Lahndahner flick.

Singer Rumer shared the barred list on Twitter while discussing the future of the grade II-listed pub in Herne Hill, which was closed in 2013 after a flood and is now due to be reopened by Fuller, Smith & Turner plc.

As a well-known live music venue, the pub played host to big names over the years, including Frank Sinatra, Eric Clapton and U2, Now locals are protesting plans to turn the live music space into a restaurant area.

Saying live music was not “economically viable”, the brewery said in a statement on its website: “In order to pay back the investment needed to get the pub open, and the day-to-day running costs, we need to increase the food trade […]

“We need to invest in a new kitchen – and due to the historic nature of the building, that can only go in the former Billiard Room, latterly used for live bands.”

Singer La Roux told the Evening Standard newspaper that the pub launched her career and called the property developers behind the new incarnation “aggressive”.

She said: “Seven thousand people signed a petition calling for music to return to the Half Moon but you have to wonder whether they can make a difference because of how aggressive the property developers are.

“The pub is the centre of Herne Hill. The building is old and beautiful and has been an important place to many young musicians across south London […] If the developers want to make a success of the pub going forward then they need to listen to local people. People do feel strongly about it.”

The planning application was posted on Twitter this week.

That aside, we’d very much like to know what pub this lot have been getting kicked out of since 2013…

half moon herne hill flooded 2013 london pub

The pub was flooded in 2013

Images: Rex Features / @rumersongs

Related

marcos alberti wine face photography project three glasses after 3.jpg

Photographer captures the four stages of wine face

Nikkei Martinez - Aged sake, mosto verde pisxo, black salt, flowers.jpg

15 sweet, sour and refreshing cocktails to make at home

party.jpg

“I hate parties: here's my survival tips for others who feel the same”

iStock_000058708726_Large.jpg

The UK's best al fresco events you shouldn't miss this summer

AVOPOPUP 3.jpeg

There's an all-avocado restaurant popping up with a FIVE-course menu

ting tings.jpg

The recent #IndieAmnesty has prompted one writer to confess

travel before kids.jpg

18 travel experiences to enjoy before you have children

iStock_000041582658_XXXLarge.jpg

Forget mindfulness, we're all about Rage Yoga

Bob_Bob_Ricard_rt.jpg

Private dining unlocked

More

The best possible gifts for when flowers aren’t going to cut it

17 unusual and thoughtful gifts for when the s**t hits the fan

by Amy Swales
22 Sep 2017

This Battle of the Sexes legend wants you to STOP asking about McEnroe

“I would like to see John McEnroe win a Grand Slam tournament while pregnant”

by Susan Devaney
22 Sep 2017

“The real reason we should all be upset about Uber”

Grow up: your bank balance really isn’t what’s at stake here

by Kayleigh Dray
22 Sep 2017

There's a huge sherbet fountain coming to London - and it's free

Bompas & Parr are planning a weird, wonderful and nostalgia-filled event

by Helen Brown
22 Sep 2017

Rick and Morty creator responds to sexist trolling of female writers

The show hired four women. Cue cries of “Worst. Episodes. Evah.”

by Amy Swales
22 Sep 2017

Everything you need to know about Uber being banned in London

The taxi firm has had its license revoked by TfL

by Moya Crockett
22 Sep 2017

The new Baileys flavour you’ll want to drink well beyond Halloween

Perfect autumn cocktails ahead

by Amy Swales
22 Sep 2017

This unexpected town has been voted the best place to work in the UK

We didn’t see this one coming

by Moya Crockett
22 Sep 2017

Harry Potter fans, this epic Hogwarts goblet is actually magical

It's perfect for Butterbeer (or prosecco)

by Megan Murray
22 Sep 2017

The hidden meanings behind the nation’s most popular baby names

Prepare for lots of girls’ names ending in ‘a’

by Moya Crockett
22 Sep 2017