Imagine wowing your date with a candlelit dinner at Wanker's Corner. Or treating your family to a meal at Eat Here And Get Gas.
Hey, if you and your friends make it over to Thailand, you could even dine out at the all-promising bolthole that is Cabbages And Condoms.
These are just some of the classic real life restaurant names unearthed in Pu Pu Hot Pot, a riveting new read by Ben Brusey.
Armed with nothing more than a GCSE in food technology, Brusey has scoured the globe for some of the funniest and most ingenious restaurant, bar and café titles known to man.
The results are vaguely terrifying.
Some put you off eating altogether (B.O café), while others are simply bizarre (the Ken Livingstone Coffee Shop) or inexplicable (er, Cabbages and Condoms - again).
Check out some highlights from Pu Pu Hot Pot, below...
Below: Prepared by hand
(Wilsonville, OR, USA)
Below: The perfect comfort break
(Tipton, IN, USA)
Below: Full of fresh aromas
Below: All Your Needs For A Good Night Out
(Chiang Mai, Thailand)
Below: Mayor Of London HQ
Below: Previously 'The Gill Next Door'
Below: Green Curry - the perfect date bait
Pu Pu Hot Pot by Ben Brusey is published by Viking, Penguin