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Can't get no satisfication: fewer than half of us are happy with our sex lives, new research says

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Fewer than half of UK adults are satisfied with their sex life with over half saying they’ve not had sex in 30 days, according to new research.

People put so much pressure on themselves to have amazing sex that they end up avoiding it altogether, according to the study by relationship charity Relate

People dwell on problems as they’re bombarded with expectations of how sex should be, rather than focusing on what is going well, researchers say. 

couple in bed

The YouGov study - a collaboration with Marriage Care and Relationships Scotland, to be published in full in September – found that, out of 6,000 UK adults only 45% said they were “fairly satisfied” or “very satisfied” with their sex life, while 51% said they had not had sex in the past month.

Relate found that couples wanted to bring the spontaneity back, but say sex is rarely truly spontaneous and instead recommends that couples plan sex and intimacy, and do not shy away from or from kissing and cuddling in front of their children.

Psychosexual therapist and Relate Institute lecturer Cate Campbell says the focus should not always be on full intercourse. Instead, she says, couples should focus on what is going well rather than dwelling on problems can help.

“What constitutes a satisfying sex life can vary wildly from one person to the next, so working out what makes you tick is a great starting point. People may feel concerned if they haven’t had sex in the past month but there are plenty of other ways to be sexy that don’t involve full intercourse.”

kissing

Last year a sex survey carried out by Stylist found much more positive results among our readers – showing participants were feeling more sexually confident and adventurous than ever before.

The survey found that 68% of you believe yourself to be a good or exceptional lover, with partners faring even better and 74% of you delighted with their performance.

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Contrary to the disappointing results of this latest research, our survey showed that 70% of respondents between the ages of 25 and 40 had high sex drives.

Two thirds of you wanted more sex, not less, and we found that our desire to experiment was on the rise too, with multiple partners, submissive-dominant relationships, and sex in public all on the agenda.

Our survey also told us that 51% of you had slept with a woman or fantasised about it and that 37% had slept with a colleague.

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In Stylist’s survey, a fifth of you admitted to watching porn at least once a month, a third had had cyber-sex, 8% had used Tinder as a means of specifically searching for casual sex and a quarter had had sex (in person) with someone they met on the internet.

Happily, 95% of you also told us you had achieved orgasm and well over half experienced a multiple orgasm, so lets hope there's is still some satisfied customers out there. 

 

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