Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Speak easy in one minute

SpeakEasy71604825.jpg

According to Lisa Merrick-Lawless, Stylist's therapist and founder of Headspace, within relationships it's useful to understand both of your styles for listening and speaking as well as processing information

To determine what kind of communicator you are, answer the following questions to determine your listening and speaking styles, then ask your partner the same questions and see what response you get.

LISTENING STYLE

If someone you knew quite well told you they were thirsty would you:

a) think that’s interesting information

b) go and get them a drink

If you answered a) then you are a ‘literal listener’ and b) then you are an ’inferential listener’. Literal listeners take the things they hear at face value, they don’t read anything into what is said, they just take the words very literally. Inferential listeners will try to work out what they think was meant by what was said, they put their own interpretation on it and often assume it implies some action needs to be taken by them.

SPEAKING STYLE

If someone you knew well did something pretty badly would you:

a) tell them, its important that they know

b) Ask them how they thought it went and wait for them to tell you

If you answered a) then you are a literal speaker and b) an inferential speaker. A literal speaker will say exactly what they mean, whereas an inferential speaker will weave around a topic hoping you can guess or work out what they think.

The thing to remember in all of this is that there is no right or wrong and no ‘better’ way to be, we are all different. It can be very useful in a relationship to understand which metaprogramme your partner runs in each of these areas to understand them better and stop you getting so frustrated if they have different communication methods to you.

Picture credit: Getty Images

Related

615x330_life_confid_5146A40.jpg

Radiate inner confidence

615x330_life_yellowimage_290910.jpg

Get some music therapy

615x330_life_sharing_280910.jpg

Sharing's the new caring

Comments

More

Muslim witness of Westminster attack responds to Islamophobic trolls

A picture of the woman walking on Westminster Bridge has been shared widely

by Nicola Colyer
24 Mar 2017

Bright, beautiful and bold Easter cake inspiration

Stylish bake ideas to nick and claim as your own

by Amy Swales
24 Mar 2017

An Avengers-style Disney princesses film could be in the works

24 Mar 2017

All the new emojis set to light up our keyboards

From breastfeeding to broccoli

24 Mar 2017

There's a sex side-effect which benefits you for 48 hours, study finds

It's all about what's known as the sex "afterglow".

by Hayley Spencer
24 Mar 2017

This is how much the houses in Big Little Lies cost

Spoiler: they're VERY expensive.

by Hayley Spencer
23 Mar 2017

Scientists reveal why you need to stop flaking on plans with friends

Don't flake it 'til you make it

by Kayleigh Dray
23 Mar 2017

Revealed: the number one reason that women break up with their partner

The truth hurts

23 Mar 2017

Been zombied? There’s now a name for this confusing dating behaviour

It's time to talk about the zombies of the dating world...

23 Mar 2017

10 female anthems to share with your mum this Mother's Day

The most moving anthems about motherhood by our favourite female artists.

by Alice Vincent
23 Mar 2017