Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

The Stylist Christmas cracker roadtest

christmas_cracker_lead_v1.jpg

From champagne to balloon animals, we put the contents of eight crackers through their paces to ensure your Christmas dinner goes off with a bang


Luxury Christmas cracker 2015: Moët & Chandon

What’s inside? Moët Brut Imperial (200ml).
How loud when pulled? You can’t pull the actual cracker, but there’s a mini version inside which has an ear-splitting 91 decibels.
Quality of the crown: 7/10
Best joke? No jokes but there are Moët-related multiple-choice trivia questions.
£15.99 each, selfridges.com


Luxury Christmas cracker 2015: Toast

What’s inside? Various chic gifts, but Stylist’s favourite is the jasmine flower tea bomb.
How loud when pulled? 95 decibels.
Quality of the crown: 5/10 – the gold paper crowns are more style over substance.
Best joke? “How did the farmer fix her dungarees? With a cabbage patch.”
£35 for six, toa.st/uk


Luxury Christmas cracker 2015: Ridley's balloon modelling crackers

What’s inside? Each cracker contains five balloons, eye stickers and instructions on how to create balloon animals, as well as a joke.
How loud when pulled? 90 decibels.
Quality of the crown: 2/10
Best joke? “What cheese do you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.”
£25 for six, johnlewis.com


Luxury Christmas cracker 2015: Nails Inc

What’s inside? A full-size, best-selling Nails Inc polish, including our pick, the silver glitter polish called Winter Mews. How loud when pulled? 79 decibels.
Quality of the crown: No crown. Bah humbug.
Best joke? No jokes, but there are funny festive quotes on the packaging – a good substitute.
£38 for six, nailsinc.com


Luxury Christmas cracker 2015: Fortnum & Mason

What’s inside? A ceramic egg cup, trinket box and napkin rings by British artist Rory Dobner.
How loud when pulled? 94 decibels.
Quality of the crown: 10/10 – fit for royalty.
Best joke? “What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.”
£350 for six, fortnumandmason.com


Luxury Christmas cracker 2015: Jo Malone

What’s inside? A miniature Blackberry & Bay Cologne, Lime, Basil & Mandarin Body Wash and Peony & Blush Suede Body Crème.
How loud when pulled? 70 decibels.
Quality of the crown: No crown…
Best joke? No joke either.
£32 each, jomalone.co.uk


Luxury Christmas cracker 2015: Harrods of London

What’s inside? Silver-plated trinkets such as a compact mirror, money clip and bottle opener.
How loud when pulled? 97 decibels.
Quality of crown: 10/10
Best joke? “Why did the oyster leave the party early? Because he pulled a mussel.”
£99.95 for six, harrods.com


Luxury Christmas cracker 2015: Hotel Chocolat

What’s inside? Three festive chocolates – the caramel chocolate Christmas tree is the best.
How loud when pulled? 90 decibels.
Quality of crown: 8/10
Best joke? “What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsilitis.”
£5 each, hotelchocolat.com


Words: Georgie Lane-Godfrey

To read this week's issue of Stylist, download from app.stylist.co.uk

Related

spiced-gingerbread-marshmallow-baubles.jpg

Make your own edible Christmas presents

princely-pies.jpg

This week's Style List

christmas.jpg

The joy of dressing up for Christmas

298_tablet_fash_xmasdressing_inline2_v1.jpg

Three of the best dress-up outfits for Christmas day

wine_lidl.jpg

Why you should buy wine here this festive season

tina-fey-amy-poehler (2).jpg

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey talk all things Christmas with Stylist

111297_reg_stylelist_teatray.jpg

This week's Style List

ThinkstockPhotos-491616388.jpg

“Smug alert – Christmas shopping is in the bag!”

7 - Winnie-the-Pooh - Hanging stockings - embargoed 00.01 7th Dec 2015.jpg

The Christmas traditions worth saving before they're lost

More

Elisabeth Moss isn’t done with powerful dramas about women’s rights

Call Jane is set to be as relevant for Trump's America as its 60s setting

by Amy Swales
20 Sep 2017

Why we all think we’re the least popular one in our group of friends

If you believe everyone’s hanging out without you, you’re not alone

by Moya Crockett
20 Sep 2017

Why that Doctor Foster conversation is so incredibly important

We really need to talk about last night’s episode…

by Kayleigh Dray
20 Sep 2017

What is panic disorder – and do you suffer from it?

Nadiya Hussain described it as a 'monster'

by Megan Murray
20 Sep 2017

This is the one thing people would rather have than a pay rise

And it makes us a lot happier

by Susan Devaney
20 Sep 2017

Nutella's newest product sounds like all kinds of deliciousness

Nutella feasting can now happen any time, any place

by Megan Murray
20 Sep 2017

Man recreates Chandler proposal so he can ask Friends fan to marry him

And he did it in the actual Friends apartment, too

by Kayleigh Dray
20 Sep 2017

Bake Off viewers are genuinely furious over THAT ‘shock twist’ ending

“Is there no justice in this world?”

by Kayleigh Dray
20 Sep 2017

Students told to submit dresses for approval ahead of school dance

“These are the roots of rape culture, frankly”

by Amy Swales
19 Sep 2017

This is why hardly any men are taking shared parental leave in the UK

Women are still doing the lion’s share of childcare, while men go out to work

by Moya Crockett
19 Sep 2017