Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

This surrogate’s story is going viral on Facebook – and it reminds us that women are strong as hell

surrigate.JPG

There are, unquestionably, huge societal pressures on women to become mothers – and this can often create rifts and divisions between them. Many find themselves challenged over their reproductive choices, questioned about things which are deeply, deeply personal, and forced to defend their fertility status.

Which is probably why this surrogate mother’s Facebook post has touched so many people on social media.


Read more: “Women are not merely a product with an expiry date”: Italy pulls controversial Fertility Day campaign


Sharing a photograph of herself alongside another woman and a newborn baby to the official Love What Matters page on Facebook, Holman writes: “A few weeks ago, I gave birth to a baby boy. This is me holding him.

She explains that, although she gave birth to the child, she is not his mother – that would be the blonde woman standing next to her. “I’m a surrogate,” she says, “and [this] was the second baby I placed in another mother’s arms.”

One in five women struggle with fertility issues

One in five women struggle with fertility issues

Holman continues: “Being a woman is so much more than having children. But for many women, being a mother is the most important and satisfying role that they will ever get to play.” 

She then goes on to explain that one in five couples have some issues with their fertility – and, while it was “easy” for her to fall pregnant, it never occurred to her that it could be difficult for other women. Until one day, while working her shift as a nurse at the hospital, she came across a patient in floods of tears.

“She was devastated after yet another round of failed IVF,” writes Holman. “All I wanted to do was fix it for her.”


Read more: “What going public with my five miscarriages has taught me about grief”


Since that day, Holman has donated her eggs to women trying to conceive – and 18 children have been born as a result. She has also acted as a surrogate twice. But, while there is no denying that it is empathy that drives her to do what she does, Holman adds that she also views surrogacy as a feminist issues, too.

“Last week I sat through a university lecture on feminism,” she writes. “Perfect timing. A bra burning crash course on the incredible things we women can achieve when we come together.”

Holman continues: “While supporting women through infertility, I am constantly amazed at the strength, resilience and determination of these women. Most of all, their endless capacity to love and care for their sisterhood.

“I now understand how similar we all are.  [We are all] just everyday women, who love other women.”


Read more: Presenter Sue Perkins told being infertile would be ‘easier’ because she's a lesbian


She finishes by saying: “[These women] are fierce and bold and determined to keep trying, even when they are scared and feel let down – over and over. In all these women, donors, recipients, those who never conceived, I [have] found the meaning of strength. Resilience. And love. 

“Maybe you can't change the world. But you can give the world to someone, and change their life.”

Images: Facebook / Love What Matters

Related

rexfeatures_5828987l.jpg

Kate Humble’s honest response after being grilled about life choices

lily allen (2).jpg

Lily Allen reveals she suffered from PTSD following son's stillbirth

oprah winfrey.jpg

Oprah Winfrey nails the problem with the term “childless woman”

More

Why anxiety makes it harder to follow your intuition

It can have a paralysing effect on decision-making

by Anna Brech
19 Oct 2017

“Why all men must work to stamp out sexual harassment and abuse”

In wake of the Weinstein allegations, one writer argues why men need to be counted

19 Oct 2017

Rage, lust, power and warmth: how it feels to experience ‘red emotions

“I grew up being told my body was terrifying and my voice was unimportant”

by The Stylist web team
19 Oct 2017

Drinking alcohol can help with foreign language skills, study finds

Anyone for a dash of Dutch courage?

by Anna Brech
19 Oct 2017

Muggles can attend the Harry Potter Yule Ball in the actual Great Hall

You even get your own wand!

by Megan Murray
19 Oct 2017

Walking for just 17 minutes a day has a dramatic effect on your health

Want to prolong your life? A bit of gentle exercise is better than none at all

by Anna Brech
19 Oct 2017

SATC writer admits the team argued over Carrie's unrealistic lifestyle

“I like my money where I can see it – hanging in my closet”

by Megan Murray
19 Oct 2017

WhatConsentMeansToMe hashtag sparks vital conversation on Twitter

“No matter what I wear, no matter what you think – no means no”

by Anna Brech
19 Oct 2017

The Netflix shows you’re most likely to devour in 24 hours

You, my friend, are a ‘binge racer’

by Nicola Colyer
18 Oct 2017

There’s a psychological reason you’re in love with Starbucks’ red cups

It’s not just because Christmas is coming

by Gemma Crisp
18 Oct 2017