Any foray into online dating (or, often, into any online space at all) runs the risk of unsolicited explicit pictures and disturbing messages from complete strangers.
Now a term has been coined for a very specific issue that can rear its ugly head when Tinder users swipe left on someone’s profile: Tindstagramming.
Did you turn someone down on the dating app only for them to find and contact you on Instagram?
Well, nymag.com has a name for that: being Tindstagrammed, otherwise known as those times when there’s been no match on Tinder, yet someone who saw your profile has decided the best next step is to slide into your direct messages on the image-sharing site. Because you clearly made a swiping mistake and they like the look of you, so it’s time to chat.
If I block you on Tinder, that is not an invitation to start messaging me on Snapchat and Instagram instead— Becky ✌🏼 (@beccabelieveitt) September 29, 2017
i connected my instagram to my tinder account n apparently guys in chicago think that means "slide in my DMs if we don't match"— the last webmaster (@ThatAndPotatoes) September 13, 2017
It's at times like these when I should consider taking my Instagram off tinder pic.twitter.com/w8GbQADhzk— vampire (@KyraMaddocks) September 28, 2017
If someone (me) doesn’t swipe right on tinder maybe don’t add them (me) on Snapchat or dm them (me) on instagram they’re (me) not interested— icky nicki (@burritoofsad) September 28, 2017
why do tinder guys think its ok to instagram DM girls they didn't even match with— annA (@death_grits) September 28, 2017
I updated my tinder bio to say "if you message me thru Instagram there's a 99% chance I hate you."— chesh 🎃🎃🎃 (@CheshSmiles) September 27, 2017
this is literally so annoying pic.twitter.com/lQpKq180dZ
If I didn't respond to you on tinder what makes you think I'll respond to the Instagram DM you send me— britt (@brittaniesuxxx) September 22, 2017
When an Instagram account is linked to Tinder, as users have been able to do since 2015, prospective matches can see the handle even if their target has not swiped right.
It would be annoying, but perhaps more easily dealt with if it was safe to assume that the contact would be polite, and a second rejection was going to be accepted with no fuss.
But this is the internet, and given that the people employing this approach have now got a history of not taking no for an answer (by ignoring the swipe left), we’d say chances of an adult exchange ending in a satisfactory manner are slim to none.
And the chances of receiving unsettling and intrusive messages, or a rapid escalation into aggression?
Hello yes it is me- a female like every other female (also.....this is Instagram not Tinder) pic.twitter.com/FGmZ92VWRg— 🌊Spicy Tuna🐟 (@audnasti) September 29, 2017
Thinking it might be time to disconnect my Instagram from my Tinder pic.twitter.com/Kc43z8lM0f— Emily Conlan (@shmemilyconlan) September 25, 2017
so this friend of mine unmatched a guy on tinder and this is his response to her on instagram (and this is only half!) pic.twitter.com/D4BrKtTFTd— Saber's Wife (@hidad_soup) September 21, 2017
This is why I shouldn't put my Instagram name on tinder😅 pic.twitter.com/ZSAT1k0MtQ— Allison Nicole Bell (@allisonbell03) September 18, 2017
hooooly shit pic.twitter.com/e8JhAI3gIx— Reptilia (@maaaaaadiison) May 1, 2017
Yeah, this is the world wide web, after all.
It should go without saying that this approach is at best creepy and unlikely to endear oneself to a person who has already made a decision about not being in contact, and at worst stalkerish, upsetting, aggressive behaviour – but apparently it still does need saying given how often it occurs.
Another one for the good old dating ‘trends’ archive (trends = ‘ridiculous things some people do instead of having an adult conversation’)...
Images: iStock / Daria Nepriakhina