We’ve scored triumphs left, right and centre in the past 50 years, but a woman being physically larger than her male partner is something that’s still liable to raise eyebrows.
From Carrie and Mr. Big to Beauty and the Beast, we’re surrounded by couples where the woman is petite and the man is physically dominant and “strong”.
Not only is this stereotype reductive and heteronormative, it also doesn’t reflect real life.
It’s hardly breaking news that people fall in love due to a rich multitude of reasons, sparkling a veritable pick ‘n’ mix of body types within couples.
Read more: why can’t we find peace with our bodies?
Yet still, age-old societal conditioning dictates that a woman should be smaller than her husband/lover/other half (that’s if she’s even straight).
Now one woman has spoken candidly about the insecurity this expectation has caused within her, in a post that has struck a chord on Instagram.
Tens of thousands of people have liked and shared the message shared by US-based aspiring plus size model “Jazzy” @a_body_positive_jazzy.
Over the years this man has loved every curve, every roll, and every stretch mark on my body. I never understood why! • How could he love something that isn't "perfect"? How could a man who was "born fit" love someone like me! I don't have a flat stomach, I jiggle when I walk, hell if I run up the stairs to fast my body claps (lmao)!! But now I see I do have the "perfect" body!! Every roll, every curve and every stretch mark is put on me just perfect to make both of us happy!!! I love my body and I finally see why he does too!! • • Photo credit: @ryanwmedia • • • #effyourbeautystandards #effyourbodystandards #everyoneisbeautiful #tummylove #youarebeautiful #aspiringmodel #aspiringplussizemodel #celebratemysize #curvysensedoll #confidence #lovemybody #lovemybelly #loveyourbody #selflove #summerbody #bikini #bikinibody #bodylove #bodypositive #bodypositivity #womenofallsizes #support #love #positive #plussize #positivity #plussizegang #positivevibes #youarebeautiful
A post shared by Jazzy (@a_body_positive_jazzy) on
Sharing a photo of her and her husband on the beach (above), Jazzy describes how she “never understood why” her partner “loved every curve, every roll” of her body – despite himself being “born fit”.
“I don't have a flat stomach, I jiggle when I walk, hell if I run up the stairs to fast my body claps (lmao),” she writes.
“But now I see I do have the "perfect" body!! Every roll, every curve and every stretch mark is put on me just perfect to make both of us happy!!! I love my body and I finally see why he does too!!”
Read more: “Tell me I’m not beach body ready!”
Jazzy’s message resonate with thousands of Instagram users, who salute her expression of self-acceptance in the accompanying comments.
Another body positive campaigner on Instagram, @bodyposipanda, shared a very similar sentiment a few weeks ago:
"If you weigh more than your boyfriend, you're too fat". That's something I learned while we were still on the playground, back before any of us had even been near a boy. I don't know where it came from, TV, magazines, overheard conversations - but it was fact. Beautiful women were always light and graceful, the men strong and solid. So that the boyfriends could lift you up and swing you round, you his feather light princess. As I got older that image became one more reason I was convinced that my body made me unlovable. And it isn't an image that only hurts women, it hurts men who can't reach the strong, solid expectation, it hurts people who don't fit the gender binary, people who don't slot in the limited boxes our culture puts gender into. It hurts queer people who are only given heteronormative images to aspire to. It hurts us all, the idea that only certain bodies are deserving of love. But the truth? The truth is that every single one of us are worthy of love, whether our bodies are light, strong, soft, bigger or smaller than our partners. Whether we believe that we're worthy or not. We already are. That means you too. 💜💙💚🌈🌞 #bodypositivepower
A post shared by Megan Jayne Crabbe 🐼 (@bodyposipanda) on
Posing with her boyfriend by the pool, the Insta-activist – real name Megan Jayne Crabbe – describes how she grew up internalising the message that, “if you weigh more than your boyfriend, you're too fat”.
“As I got older that image became one more reason I was convinced that my body made me unlovable,” she writes.
“… But the truth? The truth is that every single one of us are worthy of love, whether our bodies are light, strong, soft, bigger or smaller than our partners. Whether we believe that we're worthy or not. We already are. That means you too.”
Well said, that woman.
Top image: @a_body_positive_jazzy/Instagram