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The price of modern romance: woman who turned down second Tinder date invoiced for £20

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The world of romance has become increasingly cut throat since the introduction of dating apps.

Previously, we’d at least get an awkward face-to-face rejection but, today, it’s a block, an unanswered message, or full ghosting.

But acting in a polite and respectful manner seems to regularly be met with hostility. Which can make one wonder if turning on the radio silence isn’t perhaps the way of the rude, but the way of the sensible, after all.

Case in point: a woman in Australia has just been met with a $40 (£20) bill after politely rejecting a man she went on one date with.

News Corp journalist, Sarah Daffy, has written a piece for The Daily Telegraph, Sydney, detailing her experience.

Daffy went on one date with a man (‘James’) whom she met on Tinder. The two had a good time but, she says she knew he wasn’t quite right for her, romantically.

online dating

Online dating brings a whole new set of signals to negotiate

When it came to paying for their date – during which Daffy drank two glasses of wine – she says:

“James insisted on paying but naturally, I pulled my card out of my purse to cover my two glasses of wine. James refused; my paying my own way was not an option.”

At the end of the date, Daffy gave James a polite kiss on the cheek, and went on her way. Despite having a great time, she says there was no chemistry between the pair.

“James was fabulous, but not fabulous for me,” she says.



Following the date, Daffy attempted to deter James by sending subtle signals such as closed-ended text messages, slow replies and an all-round passive approach, but he didn’t seem to be getting the picture.

So Daffy did the decent thing - “It was time to woman up and be honest,” she writes - and wrote James a polite let down message in response to one of his that read:

“Hello! That’s sweet, thank you. The week has been good — how’s yours? I have to be upfront with you James, I’m a super honest person. I loved your company on the weekend — so much. Great chats and laughs. I didn’t feel the chemistry but I would enjoy catching up again as friends, you’re a lovely guy. Hope you take this the right way and understand if friendship is not what you’re after, chat soon.”

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“James was fabulous, but not fabulous for me."

To which James replied:

“It’s so weird... I’ve never ever heard that, in the past week, I’ve been told it twice. Yet, with due respect, both parties have been absolutely happy for me to pay... weird.”

Daffy then replied that she’d be happy to repay him by taking him out for a lunch or breakfast, but to which James then said no - he has enough friends and doesn’t want to meet.

He followed the message with another, which included his bank details and a request for $40.

Daffy writes that, despite having offered to pay her half on several occasions, James had repeatedly refused to accept.

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Daffy's messages with James

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“I had offered to pay on the date twice. I came armed with cash and a credit card. This lady pays her way,” she clarifies.

And yet, during the date, James had insisted, saying she could get him drinks next time.

“I didn’t realise it at the time,” writes Daffy, “but what James had actually done in his refusal to take my cash was to put a down payment on his next date with me. The measly $40 for my two drinks was his collateral for a second shot — his deposit.”

The news comes months after a story went viral, of a woman whose Tinder date insisted she pay him back £3.50 for a coffee, when she told him she wasn’t interested. 

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