Melissa Rauch – who plays Bernadette in The Big Bang Theory – has confirmed that she is expecting her first child with screenwriter husband Winston Rauch.
However the actor has admitted that she was “terrified” about going public with her pregnancy news, as she previously suffered a heart-breaking miscarriage.
Rauch shared a photo of herself on her Instagram page, which she captioned: “Have some news I’d like to share.”
She then asked that her fans click through to her blog post on Glamour, where she explained: “Here is the only statement regarding my pregnancy that doesn’t make me feel like a complete fraud: ‘Melissa is expecting her first child. She is extremely overjoyed, but if she’s being honest, due to the fact that she had a miscarriage the last time she was pregnant, she’s pretty much terrified at the moment that it will happen again.
“‘She feels weird even announcing this at all, and would rather wait until her child heads off to college to tell anyone, but she figures she should probably share this news before someone sees her waddling around with her mid-section protruding and announces it first.’”
A post shared by Melissa Rauch (@themelissarauch) on
Rauch continued to reveal that losing her first baby “kickstarted a primal depression that lingered in me”, and that she felt unable to open up about her feelings because there is such a stigma surrounding miscarriage.
“What I realised […] is that because this kind of loss is not openly talked about nearly as much as it should be, there really is no template for how to process these emotions,” she said.
“You’re not necessarily going to a funeral or taking time off from work to mourn, but that doesn’t change the fact that something precious has been unexpectedly taken from your life.”
Rauch goes on to explain that, when she saw other women announcing their pregnancies after her miscarriage, she felt a jealous “stab in the heart”.
It is for this reason that she has decided to be open about her own pregnancy journey.
“All I could think about was another woman mourning over her loss as I did, worried she would never get pregnant again, and reading about my little bundle on the way,” she said.
“It felt a bit disingenuous to not also share the struggle it took for me to get here.”
And, to all those women who are dealing with fertility issues, have gone through a miscarriage, or are dealing with one currently, Rauch had an important message.
“You are not alone. And, it is perfectly OK to not be OK right now.”
Rauch’s post has been warmly received by her fans, many of whom have thanked the star for broaching such a difficult and emotional topic in a public forum.
“Thank you so much for sharing your story to us,” wrote one. “It helps a lot to read it and to recognize to not be the only one with a broken heart.
“I lost my first baby in January and felt like the world stops turning and also like everyone around me is getting pregnant. Now that I am pregnant again, it’s hard not to be scared all the time.”
Another added: “What a perfectly wonderful and heartfelt way to talk about this. I have had 3 miscarriages and ended up having to do IVF before getting my little guy.
“Your descriptions about the emotions and process of grieving was me to a tee – I felt as if this was written about me. So incredibly happy for you - blessings to you and your little bundle.”
And one more said simply: “Thank you for sharing – hopefully this will remind women that they are not alone and can talk about their own loss.”
For information and support, visit miscarriageassociation.org.uk