Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Peaches Geldof's best friend pens heart-rending essay on sisterhood and life after grief

Peaches 2.jpg

Peaches Geldof's best friend has penned a beautiful essay about their friendship and her grief after Peaches' death. 

Lily Gutierrez and Geldof met as young girls, moved from London to New York together, and got married a week apart. In the piece for Motherland magazine, Gutierrez wrote:

"I used to have a friend who was a firework of a girl, so brilliant, daring and bright that being near her I often felt I was holding my breath, waiting for her next vivid explosion. She was a wild, rare thing, always creating chaos. Her imagination was huge and she told fantastic tales – she was my favourite liar.

"Two years ago, my dear friend died, but still she visits me in my dreams. Often as bossy and rude as in life, but always hypnotic. Her visits are fleeting, but she always remembers to kiss me on the lips."

Peaches & Thomas

Peaches with her husband, musician Thomas Cohen

Geldof died in April 2014, aged 25, after an accidental heroin overdose. Her body was found at the Kent home she shared with her husband, musician Thomas Cohen, and their two sons Astala and Phaedra. 

Gutierrez, who was maid of honour at Geldof and Cohen's wedding in 2012, read a eulogy at her funeral. Both the wedding and the funeral were held at the Kent church where Geldof's parents, Bob Geldof and Paula Yates, were married, and where her mother's funeral was held. Yates also died from a heroin overdose in 2000, when Geldof was 11. 

On hearing the news of her best friend's death, Gutierrez wrote: "I fell on the floor screaming, my body was in so much pain. I kept having to change my clothes as they became soaked with sweat... My grief came in unstoppable waves and disconnected me from everyone. A live thing, like a bear inside me, it came out when it wanted and terrified me. I had no control over it. I didn’t speak about it because I was scared this bear had the power to swallow the person I was talking to whole."

Peaches Geldof

Gutierrez described Geldof as a "precocious teen queen", and said that "meeting Peaches changed the trajectory of my life"

Gutierrez wrote that Geldof "never worried about being polite. She had a childlike curiosity that walked a thin line between insult and charm. I lived with her for years but I don’t think she ever knew where I was going when I left for work in the mornings.

"She was completely unconcerned by surface things, things other people used to define themselves. She had a special power that allowed her to get right to the core of a person, to find their deepest secrets, their shadow selves, their most tender and very best parts. And she’d discard the rest, the boring bits, the job titles and such."

She added that the thing she missed most about her best friend, "above her quick wit and spark, above her ability to mesmerise, is her heart. I miss the heart that she often tried to keep hidden, anyone who caught a glimpse of it knew it was gigantic. She loved so much. Sometimes silently. Her tenderness was found in strange places, silly dances and cartoon drawings, and now a kiss on the lips in the privacy of a dream.

"How lucky am I that this friend of mine, that I hold in such high esteem, returned my love. That thought alone will always make me smile."

Read the full essay here

Pictures: Getty, Rex Features

Related

rexfeatures_955727et.jpg

Bob Geldof on why he blames himself for Peaches' death

bob-hero.jpg

'I'm walking down the road and there’s an awareness of her and I buckle' Bob Geldof speaks out about Peaches' death

rexfeatures-3601634a.jpg

Heroin is likely to have contributed to the death of Peaches Geldof, inquest hears

peaches2.jpg

Peaches Geldof dies aged 25

david-bowie-memorial.jpg

“We mourn public losses as they remind us of our private ones”

use-now.jpg

Peaches Geldof: life in photos

heartbreak 3.jpg

How to heal a broken heart through comics

Credit Suszi Lurie McFadden.jpg

Widow, Lucy Kalanithi, on how to grieve and breathe after death

11415577_10155617891025177_7133272550254997213_o.jpg

Sheryl Sandberg's beautiful essay on grieving the death of her husband

Comments

More

Helen Mirren on lacking confidence and self-esteem

“I thought I looked stupid when I smiled”

by Amy Swales
24 Feb 2017

The best A-list Instagrams from the week so far

From Reese Witherspoon's Southern roots to Beyoncé's mother-daughter selfie

by Nicola Colyer
24 Feb 2017

Why Emma Thompson won’t do Love Actually 2 without Alan Rickman

“There isn’t much comic relief in the loss of our dear friend”

by Kayleigh Dray
24 Feb 2017

Caitlyn Jenner calls out Trump for failing to protect trans rights

“This is a disaster. You can still fix it.”

by Moya Crockett
24 Feb 2017

Oprah Winfrey nails the problem with the term “childless woman”

Winfrey is no less a mother for not having given birth or changed nappies

by Kayleigh Dray
24 Feb 2017

Martine McCutcheon reveals what’s next for Natalie in Love Actually 2

So… are they still together in the sequel?

by Kayleigh Dray
23 Feb 2017

Louis Theroux targets Donald Trump in new documentary

Because he’s the hero we deserve

by Kayleigh Dray
23 Feb 2017

Katy Perry takes down Theresa May and Donald Trump at the Brits 2017

Her politically charged performance did not go unnoticed

by Kayleigh Dray
23 Feb 2017

“Access to civil partnership is a feminist issue”

Katie Russell explains why the institution of marriage does not serve women

by The Stylist web team
22 Feb 2017

Katy Perry’s “best friend” Sia helped her beat the Donald Trump blues

Hey, what are friends for?

by Moya Crockett
22 Feb 2017