Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

Read this woman's brilliant response to Tinder date who told her, 'my mind gets turned on by someone slimmer'

use.jpg

A Londoner has written a fabulously honest and biting riposte to a Tinder date who told her "I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl" and "my mind gets turned on by someone slimmer".

Michelle Thomas, 30, took to her blog to respond publicly to the man, who wrote her a lengthy message that detailed exactly why he couldn't see her again, after the pair shared a few drinks and dinner on the South Bank in London recently.

As Michelle explains, "It wasn't earth-shattering, but all in all it was a fairly standard Pleasant Evening. The next day, I received the following message from him (be warned, it gets pretty nasty)."

Instagram

(Photo: Instagram @msmthomas)

"I'm not going to bull***t you... I f***ing adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on my someone slimmer," the man, known only as Simon and aged in his 40s, writes. 

"...So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. I don't want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I'm not hard.

"...We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and.... f*** me... I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl," he concludes.

"Please try and forgive me. I adore you."

(Photo: Instagram @msmthomas)

(Photo: Instagram @msmthomas)

The message is brutal even by Tinder's standards and Michelle says she was left "in floods of tears". It took her several days just to take it in and muster up a reply.

However, she felt obliged to respond publicly because her date has a 13-year-old daughter - and she wants him to build her confidence and self-esteem, rather than knock or destroy it with the negative body attitude he displayed in his letter.

"You don't have to fancy me," Michelle, who describes herself as a Welsh feminist and writer, says. "We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think 'you're lovely, but you just don't tickle my pickle'. 

"... but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque. The only possible objective for writing it is to wound me.

"And I'm ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has – that it doesn't matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant – if you're a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable."

(Photo: Instagram @msmthomas)

(Photo: Instagram @msmthomas)

"I like the way I look," Michelle continues. "I don't look like Charlize Theron, and that's fine - I look like me, and I like myself (I'm sure I'd like Charlize Theron, too if I ever met her. I hear good things).

"But could this be the very reason you have targeted me? Did you see me and think 'She has far too high an opinion of herself, she needs bringing down a peg or two'? I have to ask - we all know the internet is a dangerous place to be a woman with opinions.

"I showed your message to friends who expressed shock, horror, embarrassment on your behalf, and a desire to cause you actual physical harm. One male friend told me I have a lovely bottom 'if unmarriageable'. I laughed with them. 

"Then I cried in my Slimming World group. That's right! Slimming World! You see, I already KNOW that I'm overweight. I can tell you exactly how overweight I am – 20 pounds. I've already lost 15, and I've a stone and a half to go. I'm happy with that. I will get rid of it, safely and healthily. Does that mean that I can't love and enjoy my body now? F*** no."

(Photo: Instagram @msmthomas)

(Photo: Instagram @msmthomas)

Michelle ends, "What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you have a 13 year old daughter... I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body... Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now."

And in the best sign-off ever,  "Simon. Kiss. My. Exquisitely. Unmarriagable. Arse."

Hear, hear Michelle.

We couldn't have put it better ourselves.

Related

Lauren Stardust fucked by a unicorn.jpg

Post goes viral after woman slams those who laughed at her outfit

mypaleskin.jpg

Why we need to talk about this YouTube video

rexfeatures_3875788cq.jpg

Beach Body Ready advert ruled ‘not offensive’ by UK watchdog

562413_10151380824448365_1417106285_n.jpg

Why it’s time we modernised Asian wedding ceremonies

11053496_10152915466879576_5006211039032295142_o.jpg

Female 'Friends' creator reveals brilliant response to misogyny on set

make-up.jpg

'Can I be a feminist and still love make-up?'

Comments

More

The best A-list Instagrams from the week so far

From Anna Kendrick's new love to a Destiny's Child reunion

by Nicola Colyer
17 Feb 2017

Amanda Knox reveals the truth about relationships in prison

"Relationships help keep us sane, even if they're forbidden or not ideal”

by Sarah Biddlecombe
16 Feb 2017

Susan Sarandon discusses being sexually fluid: “I'm open”

“My sexual orientation is up for grabs”

by Kayleigh Dray
16 Feb 2017

“How you can fight this shameful U-turn on child refugees”

Positive ways to channel your outrage

15 Feb 2017

Chrissy Teigen has no time for #relationshipgoals

A drunken post-Grammys Snapchat with her husband is doing the rounds

by Amy Swales
15 Feb 2017

Blake Lively is teaching her daughters that perfection is a myth

She wants them to challenge today’s unrealistic beauty standards

by Kayleigh Dray
15 Feb 2017

Scarlett Johansson gets realistic about marriage and monogamy

“I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person”

by Kayleigh Dray
15 Feb 2017

Emily Ratajkowski, Melania Trump and the fight against slut-shaming

Ratajkowski is an avowed Democrat – but she’s ready to defend the First Lady.

by Moya Crockett
15 Feb 2017

Bake Off’s Prue Leith: everything you need to know

So… has the food writer really got what it takes to replace GBBO’s Marry Berry?

by Kayleigh Dray
14 Feb 2017

Why the internet loved Adele’s low-key wedding announcement

You do you, Adele

by Kayleigh Dray
14 Feb 2017