Dear men,

This letter isn’t addressed to all of you. I’m not writing to men like John Legend, who see nothing complicated about supporting women who have experienced sexual violence. I’m not writing to men like Orange is the New Black’s Matt McGorry, who take steps to educate themselves on intersectional feminism. I’m not writing to men like my male colleagues or my closest guy friends or my brothers, who have responded to the conversations raised by #MeToo with empathy and respect and reflection.

Instead, this letter is addressed to those of you who consider yourself fundamentally decent, yet feel a little uncomfortable about interacting with women at work in the wake of the #MeToo movement. Who are fairly sure you’ve never sexually harassed anyone, but are nevertheless petrified of being falsely accused at any moment. Who, when it comes down to it, would rather distance yourself from your female colleagues, instead of doing the hard work of confronting gender inequality in your workplace. If any of those descriptions sound familiar, I’m asking you to read on.

Because, men, we have a problem. Over a year since #MeToo went viral, we have not solved the problem of sexual misconduct at work. The number of men felled by the movement remains relatively tiny, and non-disclosure agreements are still being used to silence allegations of workplace harassment.

An open letter to men who think #MeToo means they can’t mentor women