If a woman did manage to forge a relationship with someone who wanted to marry her for love, and love alone (no small feat at a time when women were considered to be under the control of men), that someone still had to seek permission from her dear old dad before he was allowed to “put a ring on it”. And the bride-to-be would still, under the law of coverture, give up almost all of her individual rights upon marriage – including the right to refuse sex. In fact, rape within marriage only became illegal in the UK in 1991 – less than 30 years ago.

So it’s somewhat surprising to learn that, according to a recent survey of 12,000 brides and 1,200 grooms from TheKnot.com, more than three-quarters of modern men still seek out permission from their partner’s father or parents before they propose, primarily for reasons of social obligation and etiquette. By contrast, only 58% of brides say they knew a proposal was coming, but just weren’t sure when – which makes sense, as plenty of couples at least have a chat about their future plans before anyone gets down on one knee. For 40%, though, it was a complete surprise: these bewildered brides-to-be genuinely had no idea that a Saturday night at the local Italian would end with a barbershop quartet warbling their way through Bruno Mars’ Marry You, a glittering ring and a lot of pointed stares from their fellow diners. Which means that, yes, an overwhelming number of grooms felt more able to sit down and talk seriously about their marriage plans with their partner’s dad than, you know, their actual partner themselves.

At best, this practice is hideously outdated. At worst, it’s sexist patriarchal bulls**t – and, despite being a self-confessed Pollyanna, I’m more than inclined to think the worst in this case.

The year is 2017 and yet women are still fighting for control over their lives across the world. We’re constantly scrutinised over our appearance, we’re criticised over our reproductive choices, we’re fighting for autonomy at home and in the workplace, and we still earn significantly less than our male counterparts. Even worse, this rampant misogyny is becoming more and more prevalent: earlier this year, “pussy-grabbing” Donald Trump was elected President – and one of his first acts was to officially ban US-funded groups around the world from even talking about (let alone providing) safe abortions. Saudi Arabia may have finally lifted the ban on women driving, but the rules that govern guardianship of women – including dressing how they wish, opening a bank account or getting divorced – continue to restrict many aspects of day-to-day life for the female population. And, perhaps most shockingly of all, an estimated 15 million girls are married off before their 18th birthday every single year, which works out at approximately one girl every two seconds.

“Why I would never say yes to a man who asks my dad’s permission to marry me”