ABOVE LEFT: 2010 - has it grown out? who cares, the dip dye has arrived AND RIGHT: 2013 - new hue; the face that launched a thousand haircuts

I’ve got a few hair essentials I fall back on, like dry shampoo if I can’t wash it, but I do wash it every day if possible. Sometimes I’ve been known to try a topknot, but because I’m obsessed with balancing things out, I’ll only wear a topknot with lipstick. Without lipstick on, you’re just looking at the topknot.

All this might make me sound high-maintenance, but I actually wouldn’t sweat it if my hair fell out. I’d probably get one of those bright Jamaican Rasta hats with dreads attached to it and just wear that.

Hair is so linked to how we feel and everyone goes for something radical after a break-up, but my advice if you’ve just suffered heartbreak or you’ve broken up with someone, is to not touch your hair. It’s the first thing women do, but you’re not in a fit state to make decisions that are long-term – you’ll have to spend the next four years growing it out. Don’t have a fringe cut. Don’t bleach it. Don’t do anything, because you will regret it. Buy a lipstick instead. Go and kiss loads of other people, but don’t f***ing touch your hair, as you’ll still feel sad – and you’ll have weird hair. I always think people’s hair looks really weird when they’re sad anyway. When my friends are heartbroken I can tell that they’re sad; their hair just starts looking a bit forlorn. Like when Britney Spears got sad and shaved off her hair. That’s the ultimate warning – heed that. If you’re not feeling good don’t do anything to your hair.

Another thing I’ve learned is different hair lengths affect the way you dance. If you’ve got long hair you can do the classic girl moves, just swinging your hair from side to side. If you’ve got short hair you’ve got to be more creative with your dance moves and inject a little comedy, I’d say. Also, blonde people look better on planes. Blonde hair seems to just travel really well. If you’ve got dark, fine hair like mine, then you’ll always look crap at the end of a flight, but blondes step off the plane looking really nice and fresh. I fly a lot, so I notice these things. I’d also advise taking a hat when you’re travelling – you’ll also look slightly like you’re in a band at the airport. I might actually consider keeping my luggage in a guitar case one day.

But my biggest question, by far, is where do kirby grips go? I’m sure I buy maybe two packs a year and they all disappear into nowhere. It’s still a mystery to me.”

Alexa is the face of the new L’Oréal Professionnel Inoa colour, which is available at salons nationwide

* Research from Shopsmart magazine (part of consumer reports)

Alexa Chung: the hair memoirs