Beauty

These are the most ridiculous Instagram beauty trends of 2017

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Jo Hoare
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Instagram isn’t just for holiday boasts and deep dive stalking, it’s also a place to search out brand new beauty trends you won’t see anywhere else. Except hang on, there’s a reason you won’t see them anywhere else…because nobody in real life would ever wear them. From nose hair extensions (yep, really) to fur-coated nails, here are the weirdest looks you almost definitely didn’t try.

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1. Fur nails

“I’d like my nails to look like I applied superglue to them and then rolled around on the floor of my local dog groomer”, said no one ever. Nonetheless, #furnails racked up over 1,200 posts so somebody out there must have thought resembling a werewolf mid-transition/the contents of an old takeaway carton was a good thing. 

2. Glitter tits

Festival beauty is always a bit more out there, look-at-me lashes, neon shades, face paint; in the middle of a field pretty much anything goes. 2017 Instagram took that up a notch with the only-for-the-fearless #glittertits. Yes, that’s exactly what it sounds like. No bra, no top, just a healthy dusting of sparkle and glitz with the odd strategically placed jewel to get through Instagram’s no nip rule. 

4. Nose hair extensions

Got a load of false lashes laying around that you want to find another use for? Us neither. But imagine for a second that you did, could you think of a better use than fashioning them into nose hair extensions? Could be effective for filtering out germs and pollution on our morning commute maybe? Perhaps they’re onto something.

4. Condoms as a makeup applicator

Yep, this is exactly as it sounds. Makeup vloggers seeking a smooth finish made sure their beauty blenders practised safe sex and popped them in a condom before use. The prophylactic layer supposedly stopped the sponge absorbing too much product but was, in reality, a big old slippery mess. 

5. Tinsel lashes

Christmas trends are allowed to be a bit naff, who hasn’t fashioned a bauble earring here or a mistletoe hair adornment there. Gluing individual strands of tinsel on your eyelids, however, sounds almost as itchy as it does time-consuming. We think we’ll stick to wrapping it round our ponytails instead. 

6. Squiggle brows

AKA the ‘sperm under a microscope’ look. Brow trends were all over Instagram this year: barbed wire, feather, and Christmas tree brows all fought to be the most ridiculous, but we think the cartoon confusion of the bumpy squiggle brow deserved first place. 

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Jo Hoare

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