I’m certain that had I been blessed with a mane of thick, glossy hair I would be a much less tolerant person. Because only those who know what it’s like to ply your hair with the latest thickening mousse/ serum/elasticiser/conditioner… only to see your pitiful attempt be mockingly blown back to a handful of strands by a gust of light wind, will truly understand real humiliation. The one thing I can say about life with hair which snaps easier than a Pringle is that it’s character building.

So I gave Stylist’s beauty director, Joanna, one of the more challenging tasks of her career and asked if she could give me the thick hair I’ve spent the last 10 years dreaming about. She sent me off for a consultation with Carole Michaelides, a trichologist at the healthy hair clinic, Philip Kingsley (from £220). She starts by asking about my diet, family and lifestyle before taking a look at my hair with what seems to be a magnifying glass.

An hour later and she’s diagnosed me with female genetic alopecia. Thanks to my lovely mum’s genes, my hair isn’t growing at the same rate it once was. Although everyone’s hair gets thinner as they get older, mine is doing so at an accelerated rate. It’s still thick at the sides but much thinner on top (my hair follicles are producing their own version of a mullet) which is typical. It’s not a curable condition, but it is treatable. She prescribes a blood test as she suspects I’m lacking in iron (one of the most common reasons for hair loss) which will also decipher whether I have any hormonal issues.

She also blasted my terrible, ‘hair-unfriendly’ diet. I rarely eat red meat (hair is made from keratin, a protein which is found in abundance in red meat) and admittedly my relationship with dark green veg (which is full of iron – utterly crucial to hair health) is not on the greatest of terms. In short, I’m not feeding my hair. I commit to changing it. However, the reality is no short-term game. Each strand of hair lasts three to four years so in order for your follicles to begin producing healthy hair you need to wait that long to see the difference.

The kind of hair I’m in the market for is that long, beachy, healthy-looking hair seen on models the world over. So Joanna doles out cult US hair supplement, which keeps all the top models’ hair thick and full – Viviscal, £49.95. It’s packed with proteins to encourage hair growth. I team that with their shampoo and hair oil, which you massage onto your scalp nightly. Two months on and my hair is definitely growing faster – I need my roots done in eight weeks instead of my typical 12 – and oddly my eyelashes have grown too. They recommend six months for a clear result so I’m sticking with these.

Face your beauty fears