Many women, although by no means all of them, have a beauty horror story up their sleeve. Maybe it’s about the time they tried to shave their eyebrows, or cut their own fringe. It might involve a little too much powder, or a particularly orange self-tanning moment. It possibly even details the fiery and eye-watering moment their tea tree infused shower gel came into contact with their nether regions.
But no story has ever shaken the world up quite as much as this woman’s encounter with a box of unbranded wax strips.
Hannah Scorer has taken to Facebook to share a hilarious open letter with Boots, telling them about her unfortunate pre-date run-in with their hair removal product (or, to be more specific, their Smooth Care Wax Strips).
“Boots, we need to have a word,” she begins, “because these are, categorically, the worst wax strips in the world. I haven’t tried all the other wax strips, but I’m confident I don’t need to.”
What follows next is an almost perfect setting of the scene. “Last night, I decided to use your wax strips to tidy up my bikini line,” says Scorer, adding that she “followed your instructions on how to use the strips” to the letter.
“It’s not rocket science, but it’s best to be sure, isn’t it?” she muses. “You wouldn’t want waxing to go wrong, would you?”
Scorer continues: “So, as instructed on the back of the pack I warmed a strip, stuck it down, endured the brief but childbirth-level pain intensity of ripping it off, and looked down, ready to admire a peachy beach-ready inner thigh.
“Do you know what I saw instead, Boots?”
It’s at this point that things begin to get… well, nightmarish (if your nightmares involve hair removal products, that is).
“All the hair I’d just tried to take off not even slightly detached from its follicles. Except now, matted firmly into the hair was a thick layer of wax.
“Have you touched that wax when it becomes separated from its strip? It is so sticky it could have held together the original Sugababes line-up. My bikini line was like the dancefloor of a really questionable club at 3am.”
What follows is a side-splittingly hilarious tale of woe, as Scorer recounts grabbing at the “wax residue moisturising wipes” and doing her best to remove the sticky stuff from her skin. To no avail.
“The wipe became trapped and bits of it tore off and firmly adhered to my waxy, furry skin, like a series of tiny surrender flags,” says Scorer bitterly, adding that she doubted her date would be all that impressed when he/she came face-to-face with the resulting mess.
“My fanny looked like something from The Blair Witch Project,” she points out. “The Blair Witch, Boots.”
And, naturally, things continued to get worse. Furious exfoliation helped to remove some of the gunk, but not enough to stop it immediately blunting her razor. It was only after using copious amounts of a very expensive oil (and inserting a replacement razor blade) that she managed to finish the job that the wax strips started.
“My fanny looks like a bright pink newborn panda, but at least the hair is gone. So is my will to live and half the products in my bathroom, but at this point I’ll salvage a win wherever I can.”
Scorer’s post has since gone viral, with over 76,000 likes, 10,000 shares, and 19,000 comments from sympathetic (albeit amused) hair removal aficionados everywhere.
“This is why I choose shaving over waxing,” quipped one.
“I’ve been there,” added another. “That’s probably why it’s even funnier.”
And one, taking aim at Boots, insisted: “Get it sorted. This lady should be, at the very least, compensated with a visit to the nearest spa...not only to relieve the pain and allow her Lady Parts (!) to recover, but allow recuperation of her soul.
“Good luck, hun, I feel for you.”
Boots have yet to comment on the post themselves, although they have informed a number of press outlets that they “can certainly understand Scorer’s disappointment” and have contacted her to “offer a full refund”.
Images: Bridget Jones/Giphy