Emma John's memoir Self-Contained explores what it means to be 40 and single. In this extract the author grapples with why she's so disinterested in children.

An extract from Self-Contained by Emma John

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As a woman, I was expected to find divine delight in the children I encountered

Children were like a household item I ought to own at some stage, but that felt boring to spend money on right now

By my mid-thirties I should have been walking around to a background hum of unfulfilled fertility

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A brilliant and brutally honest essay about what it means to be 40, single and decidedly not broody, from Emma John's memoir Self-Contained

Does being disinterested in children make you a bad person? Author Emma John on hiding her true feelings about kids