There's long been a market in self-improvement literature, but some How To guides cater to a truly niche audience. For instance, who out there has yearned to make their breasts larger through sheer mental ability alone? Bust Enlargement With Total Mind Power is the book for you. Fancy crafting your own bedroom accessories? Make Your Own Sex Toys contains diagrams for no less than 50 DIY accoutrements.
From pet communication to office defecation, here are our favourite oddball DIY reads. They're not mature, they're not highbrow but they sure are funny...
How To Speak Cat
"The ultimate, comprehensive, and authoritative guide to learning to speak "Cat""
By Alexandra Sellers
Natural bust enlargement with total mind power
"How to use the other 90% of your mind to increase the size of your breasts"
By Donald L. Wilson
Make Your Own Sex Toys
"A witty yet practical guide featuring how-to directions for 50 inventive DIY accoutrements"
By Matt Pagett
Get Fit in Bed
"The fitness solution many of us have been waiting for"
By Genie Tartell and Ted Kavanau
How To Start Your Own Country
"Everything you need to know about sovereignty, national defense, diplomacy, raising revenue and recruiting settlers"
By Erwin Strauss
Bombproof your horse
"Teach your horse to be confident, obedient, and safe, no matter what you encounter"
By Sgt. Rick Pelicano
Well Blow Me Down: A Guys Guide to Talking Like a Pirate
"The how and why of talking like pirates that will shiver your timbers and make any landlubber swagger with pirattitude"
By John Baur
How to Poo at Work
"The ultimate guide to handling a range of potentially awkward situations"
By Mats and Enzo
Do-It-Yourself Coffins: For Pets and People
"All of the tools and techniques needed to produce strong and beautiful coffins"
By Dale Power and Jeffrey B. Snyder
Knitting With Dog Hair
"Learn to recycle Rover into beautiful garments and accessories"
By Kendall Crolius and Anne Montgomery
How not to read
"Harnessing the power of a literature-free life"
By Dan Wilbur
How to Be Pope
"What to do and where to go once you're in the Vatican"
By Piers Marchant
How to Pee Standing Up
"Packed with loads of advice that every hip chick needs to sail through those sticky situations"
By Anna Skinner
Learn just enough to get laid
"A step-by-step guide for men looking for quick and easy ways to better themselves"
By Tyler DeAngelo and Brad Emmett
How to Shit in the Woods
"An environmentally sound approach to a lost art"
By Kathleen Meyer
How to Have Sex in the Woods
"All the little details that should be considered before embarking on an alfresco rendezvous"
By Luann Colombo
How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is the Antichrist
"Identify the warning signs associated with a spectrum of Mr. Wrongs"
By Patricia Carlin
How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack
"The only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome"
By Chuck Sambuchino
How To Survive a Robot Uprising
"A witty yet legitimate introduction to contemporary robotics"
By Daniel H. Wilson
How to Fossilise Your Hamster
"100 wonderful, intriguing and entertaining scientific experiments which show scientific principles first hand"
By Mick O'Hare