We usually think of coming of age as the shift from childhood to adulthood. But I’m curious about the other transitions that women go through as we move from one stage of life to another. What happens when our understanding of what it means to be a woman, and what a fulfilling life really looks like, changes shape? What does it mean to reinvent yourself in your 40s, 50s or beyond?

When I was in my 20s, I had life all mapped out. I began training as a systemic psychotherapist at 26. The plan was that I’d start a PhD during maternity leave, allowing me to keep progressing professionally while having control over my work hours. Then, when I was ready to return to work properly, I’d teach systemic psychotherapists-in-training as well as practice as a therapist. It didn’t work out that way.

When I was 32, my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 16 weeks, followed by a stint in hospital with sepsis. During the years that followed, I had many high-risk pregnancies, most ending in miscarriage. I miscarried in ambulances, in Marrakech, in the John Lewis toilets and curled up on the floor at home. I had severe morning sickness and gestational diabetes. I became obsessed with food and nutrition, testing my blood four times a day. I knew it was nonsense, but I blamed myself and felt a failure. I pleaded with my body to hold onto my babies.

Two pregnancies went to full term and I had two glorious, brilliant babies. Neither of them slept much. I stumbled from hour to hour, exhausted, sometimes pregnant, sometimes not, laughing deliriously at the dream I’d had of working at my desk while one foot gently rocked a sleeping baby.

“I never dreamed of becoming a writer – then, in my 40s, I let go of fear and reinvented myself”