Below, Nafousi outlines four small but vital tips to incorporate into your daily routine and get started on your confidence journey.

Be aware of your thoughts

I use the example of the inner heckler versus the inner cheerleader in my book. Imagine you’re on stage and you’re a comedian. You’re trying to deliver your performance but you’ve got all these hecklers in the audience. You’re unlikely to be able to give your best performance because you feel put down and like you’re not enough. And then imagine the same performance but with a different audience, one that’s laughing at your jokes and cheering you on. Your performance is going to be much better because you feel confident and empowered.

In our minds, we constantly have our inner heckler telling us we’re going to mess it up or that we’re not good enough. How are we ever going to expect ourselves to be at our best? So, becoming more aware of your thoughts and your inner heckler is key. When does it speak up? When is it trying to put you down?

Show up with your body language

There’s something I write about in the book called the embodied cognition effect, which looks at how your posture and body language affect how you feel about yourself. You can almost trick your brain into feeling more confident by changing the way that you speak and show up physically.

This can be making sure that your shoulders are rolled back and down, walking into a room with a slower pace and making sure your chin is up and not tilted down to the ground. It can be making sure that when you talk, you talk slowly and give yourself a moment to pause. All of this can be really helpful in work, especially if you’re going into meetings or interviews. Consider your posture and your body language beforehand.

Reframe the situation

Building your self-worth and confidence is a mindset shift. For example, in dating, we often go into a situation hoping that the other person will like us as we’re seeking validation that we are lovable. But there’s a really easy mindset shift you can adopt before going on a date. Instead of saying, ‘I hope they like me,’ we say, ‘I hope I like them.’ It can completely change the way that you walk into a date and what you’re looking for, because you’re focusing on what your needs and values are, rather than just thinking, Am I enough?

Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe

I remember when I was younger, there was a group that I was desperate to be friends with because I perceived them as much cooler and better than me. But every time I hung out with them, I felt uncomfortable and on edge. I didn’t feel good about myself. But then I had this realisation that it didn’t have to be this way. I felt so much better with other friends who I did feel comfortable with and who loved me for who I am.

We don’t have to pretend to be something we’re not, especially around loved ones. Spend time with people who you feel safe around and who allow you to be your authentic self. This can serve as a huge boost to your confidence because you’re not putting yourself in situations where you don’t feel good enough.

Confidence by Roxie Nafousi (Hodder & Stoughton) is available to buy now.

Roxie Nafousi on the 4 essential steps she recommends to build your confidence and self-worth