81) Thanks to Lindsay’s little press conference, the North Star Lodge is completely sold out, and still the phones are ringing off the hook. Rather than answer them, Alejandra lets them ring while she hogs the line to call Chord and tell him all about it

82) Lindsay may have dumped Tad on Christmas Day, but he’s randomly decided he isn’t Terry, and I love this for them, too!

83) Ah, Chord is here and he’s declaring his love to Lindsay via a closed car window. Obviously, she’s not in there, because that would have been so anticlimactic. Thank goodness Real Santa is here to lead him to Lindsay (this guy is everywhere, and he’s giving me OG Princess Switch vibes)

84) Ooh, he’s being all romantic, and Lindsay’s angling for a job, and it’s all going to work out, everyone. Obviously they’re going to spend the holidays together! Obviously, there’s mistletoe! Obviously, Chord cracks an amnesia joke! OBVIOUSLY, they kiss in an impossibly photogenic golden sunbeam that bursts out of the clouds from nowhere!

85) Ah, Avy and Mr B are here, and god, this guy really rolls with the punches so well, doesn’t he?

86) And that’s it; we end on a weird skyline shot of people in a rooftop pool… and some totally not forced-feeling bloopers. The end!

So, while Falling For Christmas was incredibly predictable (and while its decision to dispense with all the rules of how time really threw me for a while), I actually think it might be… it might be pretty good, you know. Not only does it have all the hallmarks of a good Christmas romcom – fake-looking snow, attractive actors, light peril, and a warm, wintry ending – but it also throws in a few curveballs. Personally, I’m very much here for its 30-something heroine, its diverse cast, its sexually-fluid secondary love interest, and its cheeky little knowing winks to the camera; Falling For Christmas knows exactly what it is, and it’s entirely unabashed about it.

Am I, then, excited about the fact that Lindsay Lohan has two more movies coming to Netflix in the not-so-distant future? Of course I bloody am.

Bring it on!

Netflix’s Falling For Christmas: “Every single thought I had while watching Lindsay Lohan’s festive romcom”