As The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up To Cancer continues, entertainment director Helen Bownass analyses another star-spangled night in the tent.
It might be unseasonably warm outside, but things inside the Bake Off tent were just as heated tonight. This week’s roster of talent took in Little Mix singer Jade Thirlwall, comedian and writer Katherine Ryan, documentary filmmaker and presenter Stacey Dooley and YouTube star KSI (it’s OK, I’m old enough to have to Google him too).
The foursome had to take on cocktail-flavoured fondant fancies, cherry lattice tarts and a biscuit and meringue depiction of something they can’t live without. But while the last two weeks saw celeb bakers that would be able to hold their own in the main tent, it’s fair to say this week’s offerings weren’t quite up to those heady heights - I don’t think I wanted to eat anything they produced tonight. And I am hungry.
That being said, they all gave it a very good go. From Jade, a stalwart Bake Off fan who got “hot and bothered” over Paul Hollywood’s eyes, told KSI his disastrous pie was “almost as bad as your rapping” and indulged us with a very un-PG remark about Paul and Prue’s sexual preferences, Stacey who confessed she hadn’t baked since she was age five and produced a tart that looked like “a murder scene” and KSI who went from “oblivion to a handshake”.
But it was Katherine Ryan, a sort of tent-based Yoda who doled out advice to her fellow competitors, that stood out.
First there was her treaty on the type of men to go for, after KSI tried to remove his sponge tin from the hot oven with his bare hands.
“Young men need to be supervised,” she decreed. “My husband is divorced; that’s the kind of man you want. You want him standing in the ashes of his relationship with nothing but a car loan and golf clubs, that’s when he’s ready to learn. It doesn’t happen until their 40s.”
I enjoyed her explaining to Jade what a lattice pie is: “Lattice, is like when you want to burgle your ex and he might have basket weaving wood and you climb that” (she’s got a point).
She later went on to soother the singer, who had reached “breaking point” thanks to an exploding meringue.“It’s only meringue. But I appreciate your commitment to excellence and that’s why you’re such a good artist. You can’t turn it off. I understand.”
Ryan’s advice worked, as Jade went on to win the star baker apron. And her pep talk also allowed for to a moment l never imagine I’d hear in Bake Off; Prue Leith talking about eating Jade Thirlwall’s (biscuit) knickers.
I think the heat is getting to everyone…
The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up To Cancer is on All 4
Images: Channel 4