Sex And The City quotes: 11 life lessons we learned from Samantha Jones

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Samantha Jones taught us a great deal during her six-season run of HBO’s Sex And The City, as these quotes well and truly prove…

It’s the week Sex And The City fans have all been waiting for: tomorrow, And Just Like That, HBO’s new revival series lands on our TV screens, reuniting our beloved SATC characters for more adventures in the Big Apple.

This new chapter of the groundbreaking HBO show promises to follow the OG stars as they navigate the journey from the complicated reality of life and friendship in their 30s to the even more complicated reality of life and friendship in their 50s.

“I grew up with these characters, and I can’t wait to see how their story has evolved in this new chapter, with the honesty, poignancy, humor and the beloved city that has always defined them,” said Sarah Aubrey, HBO Max’s head of original content.

Unfortunately, though, the news comes with a sting in its tale: while SJP, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis will be stepping back into the well-heeled shoes of Carrie Bradshaw, Miranda Hobbs, and Charlotte York, the fourth member of the original quintet – and arguably the most popular – will not be returning.

We’re talking, of course, about gloriously uninhibited publicist Samantha Jones, played by the equally glorious Kim Cattrall.

Sex and the City reboot to feature Covid-19 story
Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie), Kristin Davis (Charlotte) and Cynthia Nixon (Miranda) – will return for HBO's revival of Sex And The City. Kim Cattrall (Samantha), though, will not be joining them.

Arguably the character who put the sex in Sex And The City, Samantha has long been a favourite with fans of the series thanks to her unapologetic attitude, fierce independence, sexual voraciousness, and unforgettable one-liners.

And, while Carrie is undeniably the show’s main character, her role was… well, it was more to ask questions (and a sizeable 92 voiceover questions at that!). 

Samantha, on the other hand, always spoke to us in the most definitive of terms. 

As such, we learned a great deal from her over the years. Here, we take a look back at the life lessons we gleaned from Sex And The City’s Samantha, as told via her best quotes.

“The right guy is an illusion. Start living your lives.”

It doesn’t matter if the right man or woman is out there somewhere or not; as Samantha reminds us time and time again, sitting around waiting to meet ‘The One’ is a waste of our precious time. So take that dream job, book that trip you’ve always wanted to go on (lockdown won’t last forever, we promise!), sign up for that course, and eat that damned dessert.

Essentially, life is short, so be sure to make the most of it – with or without a partner.

“Kegel exercises… I’m doing mine right now.”

Samantha is a big proponent of pelvic floor exercises. And she’s right to be; not only can they strengthen all your muscles down there; they can help prevent urinary incontinence, treat pelvic organ prolapse, and make sex better too. 

“If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house.”

Samantha was onto something here. Because, when you spend your time living in other people’s heads, it makes you… well, it makes you smaller, somehow. Uncomfortable in your own body. Apologetic for being yourself. Not enough, somehow.

And quite frankly? Fuck that.

“I am fifty-fucking-two and I will rock this dress.”

Age is but a number, SATC fans! 

Kim Cattrall (Samantha Jones) On Location for "Sex and the City: The Movie on Park Avenue, New York, New York September 21 2007 (Photo by Bobby Bank/WireImage)
Kim Cattrall (Samantha Jones) will not be appearing in SATC revival series, And Just Like That.

“As far as I’m concerned the test of a good relationship is are you like this *frowns* or like this *smiles*”

Simplistic relationship advice? Sure, but that doesn’t make Samantha’s take on love any less viable. Because, when it comes to love, you don’t want to waste time with someone who makes you unhappy. Ever.

“My vagina waits for no man”

The women of Sex And The City opened our eyes and minds to a world of women revelling in one-night stands, threesomes, oral sex, different penis sizes, and so much more. But, as Samantha wastes no time in telling us, our sexual pleasure is ours and ours alone; it isn’t dependent on anyone else.

Yes, we’re talking about masturbation. Go figure. So get familiar with your body, love it, own it, enjoy it, and make sure to use a vibrator that doesn’t (ahem) “burn your clitoris off… even with ski pants.”

“It’s better to be alone than fake it.”

When you settle into an unfulfilling relationship, you’re not showing yourself or the other person involved any respect whatsoever. Nor are you giving yourself the time to work out what you want from a relationship or what you’ll miss; instead, you’re stuck resenting the person you’re with. 

And just like that, the only person you’ll have to blame is yourself.

“I will not be judged by you or society.”

Even now, our patriarchal society heaps pressure on women to look and behave a certain way. To constantly apologise, even when we’ve done nothing wrong. To avoid ruffling any feathers. To accept the short end of the stick. To let men do all the talking. To put up with things we really shouldn’t have to.

It’s up to us to push back against these expectations and stay true to ourselves. Vive la révolution!

“I love you, but I love me more.”

Call it narcissistic if you really want to, but Samantha taught us that the most important relationship we’ll ever have is the one we have with ourselves. So take care of yourself, please, and take the time you need to recharge, to exercise, and to spend some time alone doing the things that make you feel better.

“You can’t go listening to every fucking little voice that runs through your head.”

We all have that little voice in our head that tells us we’re not good enough, chipping away at our self-belief until we feel incapable of doing what we want/need to do. Remember, though, that you are not your thoughts. Take a step back and examine the impact they’re having on you. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend

Above all else, be kind to yourself. Because otherwise, as Samantha stresses, “you’ll go nuts.”

Below: Sex And The City’s Samantha tells her friends that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

“Men, babies, doesn’t matter. We’re soulmates.”

This one speaks for itself, doesn’t it? When Samantha is diagnosed with cancer in season six, it is Carrie she turns to in her hour of need, not a lover. When she is invited out on a date in Abu Dhabi, she point-blank refuses to ditch her friends for it. She’s always there for them, no matter what else is going on in her life. And, when she does find herself in a long term relationship, she refuses to let it consume her and always makes time for the powerful friendships in her life.

Let’s raise a glass, then, to our beloved Samantha Jones. Because, SATC spinoff aside, she will forever embody the energy of Sex And The City to us!

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Kayleigh Dray

Kayleigh Dray is Stylist’s digital editor-at-large. Her specialist topics include comic books, films, TV and feminism. On a weekend, you can usually find her drinking copious amounts of tea and playing boardgames with her friends.

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