Agent Provocateur, La Perla, Coco de Mer, you can go home. Every girl's dream of having a groin that smells of cured meat has finally come true.
We jest of course, please don't go anywhere.
A US food firm that specialises in making bacon-themed products has unveiled bacon-scented knickers. Just in time for Christmas.
J&D's started out by selling bacon-flavoured salt, explaining on their website: “It all started with our dream to make everything taste like bacon” and now the Seattle-based obsessives have embarked on their most intrepid bacon union to date.
“Marrying the ultimate in comfort and cured meat, J&D’s Bacon Scented Underwear represents the gold standard of meat-scented luxury undergarments,” they promise. “It's like a hot frying pan in your pants.”
And don't worry about the meaty aroma disappearing in the laundry, J&D's promise it will linger wash, after wash, after wash!
Perhaps vegetarians who can't help but guiltily lust after the smell of the fry-up favourite may finally have a deterrent.
If you're not yet ready to take on bacony underwear but want more than just the odd rasher in a butty, there's always the slightly less invasive scented pillowcase option:
If you're still reading about meat-scented underwear chances are you're interested in purchasing it. If so, good luck. The knickers and underpants cost $19.99 (£13.20) a pair and the pillowcase is a bargain at $12.99 (£8.60). Shipping costs $10.95 (£7).