“I define as non-binary now, but when I was growing up in Ireland, I’d never heard of that term.

Ever since I was little though, I found it difficult to relate to the other girls in my class. Then when I got a bit older, I remember the thought of going to my school prom keeping me awake for weeks. The idea of having to walk down the stairs in a dress and just be something that I wasn’t was a nightmare. I was only doing it for my mum, but it also really went against what my parents taught me, which was to be yourself and not hide who you are.

The thing is, when you’re 17, or 18, there’s this fear inside you that being different means you’re going to be outcast or alienated. You worry that people are going to bully you or treat you differently or say things behind your back, and at that age, you just want to be liked.

At that time, all my friends seemed to be growing up and getting boyfriends, so I threw myself into basketball to deflect from not having those same experiences. Then when I finished school, I managed to get myself over to America on a basketball scholarship, and for a while I felt very free there. I was in California and it’s very inclusive. If you’re gay, straight or a unicorn, they don’t care. I just felt like I could be myself.

This is how dressing androgynously helped me to embrace my identity