The Style List: 29 “life-changing” inventions Caitlin Moran couldn’t live without

Say hello to an ex-adult acne sufferer, thanks to Dr Dennis Gross’ genius exfoliating pads.

£18 for five, spacenk.com

Write anywhere! The park! The beach! Waiting to post bail at Willesden Police Station, 1997!

£1,069, johnlewis.com     

HOW CAN OATS BE EVEN CREAMIER THAN ACTUAL CREAM? THANK YOU SCIENCE.

£1.80, sainsburys.co.uk

Normal floss doesn’t biodegrade. This does, and comes in a refillable glass jar.

£4.90, georganics.com     

Layer under anything to keep wearing your summer dresses/ blouses in winter.

£12.90, uniqlo.com

I give these to everyone: tiny company invents best bargain headphones in the world. THE BASS.

£49, flareaudio.com

90s: many hair-removal- cream face-burns. 2019: cute electric tash-zapper. Be Mercury no more.

£12.99, philips.co.uk 

Dog urine trashing your lawn? Plant micro clover: urine-proof, insect-friendly and lush.

£17.99, amazon.co.uk

All other jeans have given me camel-toe visible from Canada. These forgive around the mons.

£95, whistles.com

In 1995 we had an A-Z, 10p for the phonebox, a Sony Discman and 20 CDs. This is better.

from £499, apple.com/uk

If you live in the UK and use an SPF, there’s no WAY you’re not vitamin D deficient. EAT THESE.

£9.26, uk.iherb.com     

The only perfume people have run down the street to ask, “What is that?” Deepest summer neroli.

£110, libertylondon.com

Turmeric a) boosts skin b) supports the gut c) stains like a bitch. But is d) delicious in a latte.

£4.95, shop.lucybee.com

Dab on impending acne and this RAINS DOWN FURY UNTIL THE SPOT DIES.

£43.50, dermalogica.co.uk

It’s dog food made of insects (more eco-friendly meat!) and dogs are too stupid to notice.

£13.99, yorapetfoods.com

The only – and I mean only – sock that will stay on a baby’s fat, sausage-like leg.

£2, gap.co.uk

Like watching Lorraine Kelly, you just don’t have to worry about anything with these tights.

£6, marksandspencer.com     

The HPV vaccine protects against cervical, anal, vaginal and vulval cancer. THANK YOU AGAIN, SCIENCE

free, nhs.uk

I mean, I just have Gross all over me. The film of my life would be a Gross-out movie.

£46, selfridges.com

Hey Girls donates a pack of pads or tampons to women in need for every one you buy.

from £2.85, heygirls.co.uk     

Chanel Vitalumière Aqua makes the acne-prone-yet-ageing woman look lit as if by God.

£37, feelunique.com

For those with an achilles urethra: finally, a cure. No more crying in the bath at 2am.

£8.99, amazon.co.uk

Dream T: upper arm coverage! Collarbone revealage! Lycra for slight tit-cling!

£6.50, marksandspencer.com

This will not shift, smudge or die. You can legit apply Monday, still be reaping on Wednesday.

£17, maccosmetics.co.uk

So expensive you are literally burning money, but compared to a cocaine habit, so benign.

£53, diptyqueparis.com

Fuck you if you don’t love Crocs. It’s a comfy clog you can put in the dishwasher. Result.

£32.99, crocs.co.uk

Found control for major tum. Eliminates chub-rub! The most comfortable your arse has ever been.

£9.90, uniqlo.com

Carry a metal straw with you; contemplate the guts of baleen whales guilt-free.

£7.95, thekitchengiftco.com

Mum’s Roll-On was better to masturbate with but this 21st century stick is the supremo whiff-slayer.

£4.99, boots.com