If you didn't already know, today is the birthday of none other than Beyoncé Giselle Knowles. That's right, today the songstress superstar turns 33. Yes, she's ONLY 33. Don't dwell, it'll only make you feel bad.
Anyway, feelings of inadequacy aside, there's another reason to celebrate the Drunk In Love singer's day of birth - our recent discovery of the Beyoncé fanfiction Twitter account.
In what is possibly our favourite thing of the week, the Twitter feed is ripe with scenarios that are completely made up about the former Destiny's Child member's life. Not that it makes them any less funny, mind.
We couldn't hide our smiles when reading the line: "Beyoncé sends a photo of the pizza that she just ordered to Gwyneth Paltrow along with a smirking emoji."
Or even the hilarious and, we might add, very topical: "Beyoncé tries to film an ice bucket challenge video, but the chilled water is afraid of causing her discomfort and won't leave its bucket."
Take a look at some of our favourites below. Prepare to become obsessed.