Victoria Beckham’s best quotes

After Victoria Beckham's amazing cameo in David Beckham: Into the Unknown last night, with her asking David how he was going to do his hair, we remember her brilliant one-liners from "I want to be as famous as Persil Automatic" to "It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!" when describing husband David Beckham's assets. She might put on a serious face in front of the cameras, but these 20 hilarious quotes prove she is a natural jester at heart.

(Images: Rex Features)

  • On smiling

    "I think they have this impression that I'm this miserable cow who doesn't smile. But I'm actually quite the opposite... I'm going to try and smile more for America"

  • On being a mother to three sons

    "Three boys. I think it's less about parenting now for me and more about crowd control."

  • On husband David Beckham's assets

    "He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!"

    (Image credit: Emporio Armani)

  • On her style

    "I'm so camp. I'm such a gay man trying to get out."

  • On dressing for your body shape

    "If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!"

  • On her dream

    "I want to be as famous as Persil Automatic."

  • On the paparazzi

    "I tell you, the paparazzi would not be sitting outside if they realised I was the most boring person in Hollywood."

  • On celebrities

    "You have to remember that when you are a performer you become a celebrity, but you are not saving lives. It's not that important."

  • Advice to brides

    "All white flowers at a wedding always look lovely but, for heaven's sake, don't include carnations – they are far too petrol station for your special day."

  • On her singing

    "I was never going to give Mariah Carey any competition."

  • On high heels

    "They're not that hard to walk in ... They're not uncomfortable! [But] you have to go to a sex shop to get this spray to polish them."

  • On getting older

    "I think as I have got older, I have got a bit more relaxed, although you might not think that if you heard me screaming at my kids."

  • On being married to David Beckham

    "They always say, 'My God David is so handsome, he's gorgeous, he's so good looking... and she's so funny.' Basically that means you're a pig with a sense of humor."

  • On smiling

    "I actually used to smile a lot in pictures. I think I only stopped smiling when I got into fashion. Fashion stole my smile!'"

  • On football

    "I don't know much about football. I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing about football."

  • On impressions

    "I don't believe anyone who says they don't care what people say about them. Of course they bloody well do."

  • On Spice Girls fans

    "There are men in suits. There are men in dresses. There are all sorts."

  • On dressing up

    "I go into hair and makeup, and I turn into 'Victoria Beckham.'"

  • On her figure

    "I'm not a supermodel. I make the best of what I've got."

  • On setting goals

    "If you can get your head around your dream it means your dream isn't big enough."

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