After Victoria Beckham's amazing cameo in David Beckham: Into the Unknown last night, with her asking David how he was going to do his hair, we remember her brilliant one-liners from "I want to be as famous as Persil Automatic" to "It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!" when describing husband David Beckham's assets. She might put on a serious face in front of the cameras, but these 20 hilarious quotes prove she is a natural jester at heart.
(Images: Rex Features)
"I think they have this impression that I'm this miserable cow who doesn't smile. But I'm actually quite the opposite... I'm going to try and smile more for America"
On being a mother to three sons
"Three boys. I think it's less about parenting now for me and more about crowd control."
On husband David Beckham's assets
"He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!"
(Image credit: Emporio Armani)
On her style
"I'm so camp. I'm such a gay man trying to get out."
On dressing for your body shape
"If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!"
On her dream
"I want to be as famous as Persil Automatic."
On the paparazzi
"I tell you, the paparazzi would not be sitting outside if they realised I was the most boring person in Hollywood."
"You have to remember that when you are a performer you become a celebrity, but you are not saving lives. It's not that important."
Advice to brides
"All white flowers at a wedding always look lovely but, for heaven's sake, don't include carnations – they are far too petrol station for your special day."
On her singing
"I was never going to give Mariah Carey any competition."
On high heels
"They're not that hard to walk in ... They're not uncomfortable! [But] you have to go to a sex shop to get this spray to polish them."
On getting older
"I think as I have got older, I have got a bit more relaxed, although you might not think that if you heard me screaming at my kids."
On being married to David Beckham
"They always say, 'My God David is so handsome, he's gorgeous, he's so good looking... and she's so funny.' Basically that means you're a pig with a sense of humor."
"I actually used to smile a lot in pictures. I think I only stopped smiling when I got into fashion. Fashion stole my smile!'"
"I don't know much about football. I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing about football."
"I don't believe anyone who says they don't care what people say about them. Of course they bloody well do."
On Spice Girls fans
"There are men in suits. There are men in dresses. There are all sorts."
On dressing up
"I go into hair and makeup, and I turn into 'Victoria Beckham.'"
On her figure
"I'm not a supermodel. I make the best of what I've got."
On setting goals
"If you can get your head around your dream it means your dream isn't big enough."