"We're bored of celebrity-brand collaborations," we think - then along comes Whoopi Goldberg with a completely unexpected and totally kick-ass line of Christmas jumpers.
Rihanna, Gigi and Beyonce are among the stars who've been squeezing every drop of excitement we possess for A-list endorsed fashion in 2016, but Goldberg is reviving the genre with a tongue-in-cheek collection of "ugly" and "strange" unisex festive knits.
The 60-year-old actor/comedian/TV presenter unleashed the new range with the declaration to Vogue.com "I love what we call an 'ugly Christmas sweater.'”
Amusingly after dropping the U-word, Goldberg asks that hers not be labelled as such, telling the website: "You can’t call them 'ugly.' Mine are kind of 'funny Christmas sweaters' or 'Christmas sweaters with a twist.'"
She later told WWD, “I like Christmas sweaters - the stranger the better.”
They are both strange and kind of ugly-beautiful...
“I have a lot of oddness in my brain, and so, this is the kind of stuff that I think about on a daily basis and happily, it all worked out," she adds.
They’re fun and they’re sweet and they’re not nasty and they’re not mean. They’re very loving. And if you’re going to do something for the holidays, why not something positive?
- Whoopi Goldberg
Goldberg has been teasing her fashion credentials with front row appearances at New York Fashion Week and a catwalk cameo in Opening Ceremony's show, then she blew up Twitter last month when she appeared on The View wearing Vetements' famous £900 hoodie.
Alas (or not, depending on your Christmas jumper budget) her 11 designs retail at a very un-Grinchy $139 each (around £114 before shipping costs).
Still, for those of us who begrudge parting with more than a tenner for a Christmas jumper (a little more if it has flashing lights), Goldberg has provided us with a rich source of inspiration and frankly raises the bar for all future festive jumpers. Where else can you procure a design featuring an octopus menorah? Or two santas poised to kiss?
The jumpers, which each have their own name and backstory, are on sale from November 1 at luxury US department store chain Lord & Taylor and Hudson's Bay department stores in Canada.
50 best Christmas books
A Christmas Carol
by Charles Dickens
Ebeneezer Scrooge's literary villainy may not rank as highly as the likes of Patrick American Psycho Bateman or Clockwork Orange's Alex but remember - this is a man who actively despises Christmas! Luckily, a timely visit from the ghosts of past, present and future forces Scrooge to confront his more challenging personality traits in time for the festivities.
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe
by C.S. Lewis
“'It’s a magic wardrobe. There’s a wood inside it, and it’s snowing! Come and see,' begged Lucy.”
Don’t worry, Grandma hasn’t left the Christmas port out, Lucy’s only gone and found a portal to the mythical land of Narnia in the spare bedroom.
A Visit From St. Nicholas
by Clement C. Moore
"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse"
Until 1823, St. Nicholas - a balding Greek Orthodox Bishop who helped the poor, resurrected murder victims and weightlessly multiplied wheat - was a pretty serious figure. So, what happened? American academic Clement C. Moore gave Saint Nic a jolly, fat makeover, some new red velvet threads and eight reindeers in his ever-popular festive poem, making him the Santa Claus we know today.
The Polar Express
by Chris Van Allsburg
Young Billy’s family doesn’t believe in Santa and now even Billy is having his doubts. Luckily, a mysterious fun train arrives on Christmas Eve to take him to the North Pole to meet the big man himself. Tickets not available on the National Rail website.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas!
by Dr. Seuss
Grinch, whose heart is two sizes too small, steals everyone's gifts because he hates Christmas. But Christmas is not about what's under the tree, it's about what's in our hearts, according to Dr. Seuss. Come December 25, the Grinch sees everyone is still filled with festive joy and he returns the festive booty, resulting in his heart growing three times larger. Sounds painful.
by Raymond Briggs
If you think the snowman in the John Lewis advert is impressive, wait until you get a load of this guy. And like the ad, it's all pictures, no words.
The Gift Of The Magi
by O. Henry, 1905
It’s Christmas Eve and the only decent way a broke Della can raise cash to buy her husband Jim a gift is to chop off and sell her L’Oreal-worthy locks. Freshly shorn, she splashes out on a fancy watch chain, only to find an equally cash-strapped Jim has flogged his timepiece to buy her a set of combs. The morals being; don’t sell a body part to buy a Christmas gift and always keep the receipt.
Letters From Father Christmas
by J. R. R. Tolkien
Yes, the Lord of the Rings maestro also wrote some awesome Christmas stories. "Peter Jackson" and "Christmas movie blockbuster" spring to mind.
The Greatest Gift
by Philip Van Doren Stern
This 1943 short story is the basis for one of the best Christmas films ever, It's A Wonderful Life.
Still need to know more? It's Christmas and a suicidal George Pratt tells a mysterious stranger he wishes he'd never been born. His wish is granted and George Pratt ceases to exist. He's not dead though, the mysterious stranger lets him visit the people who would have been his loved ones. Be careful what you wish for, and all that.
A Child’s Christmas In Wales
by Dylan Thomas
Childhood and Christmas Day in a small Welsh town, as based on Dylan Thomas’ own experiences. Not sure what the kids of today would make of it mind. No TV? No PSPs? What did people do for fun?
A Christmas Memory
by Truman Capote
As the cover suggests, Capote’s Yuletide short story is not exactly bursting with whimsy.
Set in rural Alabama during the great depression, seven-year-old Buddy’s parents dump him over Christmas on relatives whose gift-buying skills stretch to a religious magazine subscription. Luckily for Buddy, one elderly cousin is quite a gas and the pair get drunk on whiskey, bake cakes, decorate a tree and fly kites.
The 101 Dalmatians
by Dodie Smith
Cruella de Vil, a huge litter of cute puppies and a heinous plan to make coats in time for Christmas. If you thought the film was good, the book knocks spots off it.
The Little Match Girl
by Hans Christian Andersen
Faced with going home for a beating or staying out on a freezing cold New Year's Eve to sell matches, the Little Match Girl lights her stock to keep warm and experiences wonderful visions of her late grandmother, the only person who ever showed her love. Terribly sad, terribly good.
The Ecco Book Of Christmas Stories
by Alberto Manguel
Like a literary version of Now That's What I Call Music!, this book comprises 23 Christmas stories by a random selection of acclaimed authors.
Miracle On 34th Street
by Valentine Davies
“If you searched every old folks’ home in the country, you couldn’t find anyone who looked more like Santa Claus”.
No, it’s not an advert for BUPA. It’s the opening line to one of the greatest Christmas stories ever.
The Life And Adventures Of Santa Claus
by L. Frank Baum
“He knew that the best of children were sometimes naughty, and that the naughty ones were often good.”
Ever wondered how Santa came to be Santa? Well in Baum's imaginings, a lioness and a wood nymph raised him in a magical forest, before he moved to the village of Hohaho with his cat Blinky.
Eloise At Christmastime
by Kay Thompson
"Oooooooooooooooooooo! I absolutely love Christmas!"
Six-year-old Eloise loves the festive season so much she scrawls ‘Merry Christmas’ all over the walls of the New York Plaza Hotel. She’s not yet bought into the idea that Santa only visits good children, but she does narrate in cheeky festive rhyme.
The First Noel
by Jan Pieńkowski
It's part carousel, part shadow box, part Nativity story. The Kinder Surprise of Christmas books.
The Adventure Of The Christmas Pudding
by Agatha Christie
A collection of short stories by the queen of murder mystery. Hercule Poirot followed by Miss Marple? It’s like Christmas Day on ITV3.
by Louisa May Alcott
"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.
Sir Gawain And The Green Knight
by Simon Armitage
Based on the 14th century poem, this book explores Sir Gawain’s Christmas quest to find the magical Green Knight he beheaded the year before. And you thought Christmas lunch round yours might be a bit awkward this year.
by Terry Pratchett
The Hogfather, Discworld’s equivalent of Santa, can’t make the present deliveries this year and someone needs to cover for him. Step forward Death. Death might not be the ideal choice for the role, but he’s going to give it a shot.
The Christmas Train
by David Baldacci
Tom Langdon must get across America to get to Los Angeles in time for Christmas. Think John Candy and Steve Martin in the movie Trains, Planes and Automobiles, then disregard the bits about automobiles, planes, John Candy and Steve Martin.
Holidays On Ice
by David Sedaris
Six humorous short Christmas stories strung together in one glorious book. The first focuses on the banality of life working as a Christmas elf in Macys. So if you like your humour particularly dark, or know someone else that does, this could be the perfect Christmas gift.
The Twelve Terrors Of Christmas
by John Updike
If Ebenezer Scrooge borrowed one Christmas book from the library, it would be this one. Well, before the ghosts scared the bejesus out of him. If Christmas cynicism is your thing, this could be right up your street.
Christmas In The Big Woods
by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Little House on the Prairie does Christmas. For small children. More baking cookies and playing in the snow than going to Starbucks and wandering around Westfield.
Hercule Poirot’s Christmas
by Agatha Christie
No time to open your new beard and moustache trimmer Poirot, someone’s been murdered! This time it’s tyrannical Simeon Lee. Poirot will figure it out though, he always does. Bet no-one wants to play Cluedo against him on Boxing Day.
The Christmas List
by Richard Paul Evans
It’s December and James Kier has passed. Everyone assumes it’s the repugnant businessman James Kier who has died and a wealth of mean comments about the man are posted on the newspaper website that broke the news. Of course, it turns out it's not that James Kier and he's livid with the response. Eventually he concedes he may not be the nicest of men and decides to draw up a list of people he’s offended and make amends. A bit like a Christmas special of My Name is Earl but with fewer scientologists.
Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer
by R.L. May
Too much sherry Rudolph? No way, the North Pole is surely an alcohol-free zone in the run up to Christmas. Fortunately for Santa, Rudolph’s red nose it the perfect light to guide the sleigh on a foggy Christmas Eve.
by E.T.A. Hoffman
"Snow was falling gently on the streets, and people were hurrying home, their arms filled with gaily wrapped boxes and paper parcels from toy stores, candy shops and bakeries". So begins the story of The Nutcracker, and with it the dreams of thousands of ballerinas.
by John Grisham
The Kranks are skipping Christmas this year, escaping on a Caribbean cruise. Or so they thought. Best laid plans and all that…
Frosty The Snowman
by Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins
This musical book is one for the (younger) kids. It illustrates the story of Frosty while playing the well-known tune. Not on repeat though. It’s one play per opening to help maintain parental Christmas sanity.
The Faber Book Of Christmas
by Simon Rae
The history of Christmas across the world that you might not have heard about. Best not to ask what’s for Christmas lunch on the 19th century American Emigrant trail.
The Christmas Mystery
by Jostein Gaarder
A young boy’s advent calendar reveals the journey of a girl who travels back in time to baby Jesus’ Bethlehem. Let’s hope he’s not too disappointed about the lack of chocolate treats.
The Children of Green Knowe
by Lucy M. Boston
“'What if my great grandmother is a witch?' thought Tolly”.
Well, she lives in the old ancestral home of Green Knowe, which is surrounded by a moat and populated by children who have lived there for centuries. So the chances are Tolly's onto something. Not strictly Christmassy, but a snowy, magical winter setting surely counts.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Baxter
by Edward Streeter
George Osborne’s favourite Christmas book. Probably. Mr Baxter’s attempts to bring a touch of austerity to Christmas aren’t that well received by his wife. Written in 1956, maybe Streeter took a trip with the Ghost of Christmas Future to get his inspiration…
The Dark Is Rising
by Susan Cooper
Christmas is approaching, it’s Will Stanton’s 11th birthday and there’s a surprise in store. He’s about to find out that he’s an immortal guardian of the light and must destroy the evil magic of the dark. All he wanted was an X-Box and a nerf gun.
The Box Of Delights
by John Masefield
Written in the 1930s by the then Poet Laureate, it’s fair to say this one’s a tad surreal. To summarise: boy hero heading home for Christmas; magic box; gang of crooks threatening to cancel Christmas; ancient greeks; bumbling policemen; pirates; good versus evil; snowy England. They made a TV version in the 80s. Apparently.
Rover Saves Christmas
by Roddy Doyle
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has pulled a Christmas sickie and Santa’s sleigh isn’t going anywhere. But maybe Rover the wonder dog has something to say about that. Or bark about that. Or growl. Delete as applicable.
The Stupidest Angel
by Christopher Moore
Joshua Barker is convinced that Santa is dead. His prayers for a solution prompt Archangel Raziel to descend from Heaven on a mission to sort things out
by Rosamunde Pilcher
Elfrida Phipps has moved to a new home with her faithful dog and befriended the local Blundell family. Unfortunately, the Blundell family is torn apart in a fatal car crash. Sounds a bit like an EastEnders Christmas special, but it does get better. Elfrida helps Mr Blundell take his mind off things with a winter trip to Scotland, where the Christmas spirit takes hold.
When Santa Fell To Earth
by Comelia Funke and Paul Howard
Santa’s had better days. Twinklestar the reindeer has slipped the reins and the sleigh’s crash landed. Good job local children Charlotte and Ben are around to help stop Yule Land’s marauding gang of motor sledgers from ruining Christmas.
There’s Something About Christmas
by Debbie Macomber
Emma Collins is a small town newspaper journalist who dislikes fruitcake, flying and Christmas. Good job her editor has given her the chance to write a breakout piece about the local entries for the national Good Housekeeping Fruitcake Recipe Contest. Even better that she has to fly around the region to interview them. At least the pilot is a decent sort. What are the odds of a Christmas romance?
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
by Barbara Robinson
“The Herdmans were absolutely the worst kids in the history of the world”
They also want to play all the main characters in the community Christmas Pageant. Wholesome American fare from 1972, but don’t let that put you off.
A Charlie Brown Christmas
by Charles M. Schultz
A 1960’s Peanuts holiday TV special transferred to book form makes the ideal stocking filler for fans of Charlie Brown. Charlie decides to set the tone for Christmas by getting a real tree rather than the artificial one requested by Lucy.
The Tailor Of Gloucester
by Beatrix Potter
First published in 1903, this book tells the story of the poor tailor of Gloucester, too tired and ill to finish off the Mayor’s Christmas wedding outfit. Good job there’s a mischief of mice around to help out. Now you know where the idea for Bagpuss came from.
The Nightmare Before Christmas
by Frank T. Thompson
The graphic novel version of Tim Burton’s 1993 film. Jack Skellington rules the roost at Halloween, but he’s looking to expand his empire and Christmas seems like the perfect acquisition. Wonder if this is on Johnny Depp’s Christmas List.
The Donkey in the Living Room
by Sarah Cunningham
A topseller, this new US kids book is for parents who want to introduce a Christian theme to the festivities. It's inspired by the author's family tradition of unwrapping individual figurines from a Nativity scene in the days leading up to Christmas. And it's got rhymes.
Belstarr The Lost Toymaker
by David Jacks, Daniel Morrow, Stella Perrett
And if you want a new Christmas release for kids that skips religion, but still has rhymes, try the story of a lost toymaker called Belstarr. She holds the key to Christmas in her heart, but faces a battle with a ghastly beast called Drake Hausen, who has a plan to take over Christmas as his own.
by Cecelia Ahern
Set in modern day Dublin at Christmas time, P.S. I love You writer Ahern's novel borrows from A Christmas Carol and The Greatest Gift. It's the tale of an ambitious young executive who puts business before his long-suffering family until he meets a homeless man who gives him magic pills to clone himself. Handy. Or is it?