By day three, however, I start to feel slightly more sluggish. The initial buzz of being somewhere new has died down and I’m feeling more hungry between meals. And then I’m asked to do a metabolism test.

Now, I’m a fit person (I am the health and fitness editor, after all!). I’ve run umpteen marathons, workout six days a week, don’t smoke etc. Earlier in the week, I did a body scan which put me towards the top end for muscle mass (although I’m told that I could always lose 1-2kg of fat if I wanted to make ‘improvements’). It also told me that I had a ‘very dry body’ which is apparently a good thing for reasons I didn’t quite get. All in all, the PT who conducted that test congratulated me.

During this breath test, however, I score the lowest possible score. The test involves breathing ‘normally’ through your mouth into a plastic tube for five minutes, while your nose is pegged shut. I question the results, citing the VO2 max reading on my watch (a test done in November) at 95% - ‘superior’. These were the scores of someone who’d never stepped foot in a gym – right? Who clearly smoked or lived an unhealthy lifestyle. If my metabolism was so poor, wouldn’t I know about it by now? “This test isn’t about fitness, it’s about stress,” the practitioner sternly tells me. “You come in here like a whirlwind and I can tell that even after a few days here, you’re still chronically stressed. You say you go to yoga, but you probably go to it for fitness rather than mindfulness, yes?” I avoid catching her eye as I mumble in agreement. “Maybe this is a sign that you should do less.”

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