Psychotherapist Georgina Sturmer tells Strong Women that making an informed decision is a step in the right direction towards shedding feelings of guilt and doubt. In a society where every man and his dog has an opinion about fertility and decisions about pregnancy, she says it’s important to separate our own feelings and agenda from everyone else’s.

“The challenge here is to rule out the noise,” she advises. “Seek as much sensible medical advice as possible so that you’re making informed decisions. And find a way to then balance out the emotional burden of it all. Explore any anger, sadness, guilt, frustration or resentment that you might be feeling. Think about how your future might look and what compromises you might need to make. Do you have the support in place to remain resilient if our choice brings difficulties?” 

There is not much in the way of statistics and research when it comes to the number of chronically ill mothers in the UK or how their health affects their parenting. That might not be a surprise, but given the staggering number of women who suffer from life-impacting conditions, it’s an obvious information gap. According to a 2022 NHS health survey, 43% of women over the age of 16 reported having a long-term illness, and a Trades Union Congress survey from May 2024 reported that there are 1.54 million women in the UK whose long-term illnesses prevent them from working.

“Was I selfish for having a baby when I’m chronically ill?” 4 mums on how they’ve overcome guilt