Eight years after we tied the knot, I discovered I was pregnant. Instead of being terrified at seeing the positive test, I was elated. Taking my time and doing things on my own terms meant I was now ready to embrace the excitement of becoming a mum. My mind started whirring with potential due dates, names and baby shower ideas.

How I envy that naive version of myself now. A month into my pregnancy, I started spotting, and a scan confirmed that I’d no longer be welcoming a baby into the world. I’d been given a glimpse into a world I’d previously thought wasn’t for me, realised that I did want it after all, and then had the possibility ripped away. Processing that whole journey was confusing and devastating; was I to blame in some way?

That first miscarriage happened aged 35 – the age that often gets bandied about as being the moment when female fertility drops off a cliff (a 300-year-old stat that’s largely been debunked). It’s also the current average age of first-time fertility patients, as highlighted in the recently published Human Fertility and Embryology Authority’s (HFEA) Fertility Trends report. With global fertility rates in decline, the release of that report saw a huge surge in media outlets blaming women for ‘leaving it too late’ to have children – without any acknowledgement of the reasons behind the delay.

“It took me 7 years to have a baby, but I still don’t regret waiting until 35 to start trying”