What makes a good chocolate selection box? In this writer’s humble opinion, just three things:
- A wide breadth of options available
- High-quality chocolate throughout
- A tub that allows for easy access to the aforementioned chocolate, as well as a cute little menu listing all the options available. Obviously.
While not a necessity, it’s also nice to have chocolates that are easy to unwrap, so you can do it mindlessly with one hand while working your way through the Christmas TV guide.
And, of course, a selection box that doesn’t prompt arguments and fallouts with your nearest and dearest is always preferable, too: nobody should be scratching their sister’s hand to get to the last caramel, OK?
With these criteria in mind, then, I’ve ranked the UK’s best chocolate selection boxes, to ensure you get the most bang for your buck.
You are very welcome.
10) Ferrero Rocher Collection
Believe me when I say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a Ferrero Rocher Collection (as in, yeah, the one with the white and dark chocolate version) – quite the opposite, in fact. It’s luxe, it’s elegant, and it’s worthy of a place at an ambassador’s banquet any day of the week.
In a non-ambassadorial-setting, though? Aka plonked on your sofa in front of the TV? Well, these little spheres of nutty deliciousness come up short.
The gold wrappings require you to look away from the screen and show them all the due reverence they deserve; the rich flavours are far too intense to eat more than six or seven chocolates, at a push (this writer made it to 11, but she’s a seasoned professional). Plus, the crunch of the wafer and hazelnut combined makes this far too noisy a treat to enjoy during your annual screening of Home Alone.
Throw in the fact that there are only three (three!) different varieties of Ferrero Rocher to enjoy within the collection, and you realise there’s not all that much “selection” involved here. To the bottom of the list with you, ambassador!
9) Milk Tray
There’s a lot to love about the classic Milk Tray, right down to its nostalgia-inducing purple wrapping.
But, when you get right down to it, does anyone really want a chocolate selection box that boasts four (count ‘em) Fudge Duets to its meagre two caramel-filled hearts? And who on earth thought that apple-flavoured chocolate was a good idea, really?
There’s a reason this box lasts such a long time, quite frankly, and it’s because everyone’s eating their way around the mediocre options. Fact.
8) Terry’s Chocolate Orange Segsations
Look, I love Terry’s Chocolate Orange as much as the next sane person. But, as a good pal of mine rightly points out, this is yet another selection box without all that much selection.
A handful of popping candy and rice krispies does not a selection make, Terry.
7) Galaxy Christmas Collection
Love Galaxy? Then, yeah, you’ll love gorging yourself on this box of Galaxy-based goodies, which features everything from a Ripple to a Cookie Crumble. Again, though, there’s not all that much selection involved. And, while chocolate purists are guaranteed impossibly smooth chocolatey goodness at every bite, where’s the sense of adventure in that?
6) Maltesers & Friends
Four different Malteser-based products, muddled together with a Twix, a Mars Bar, and a Milky Way? Unquestionably delicious, but once again not all that much of a selection. Sorry not sorry.
Containing the best iteration of a Malteser ever, a tub of Celebrations has long been something of a Christmas staple. But it’s divisive, isn’t it? It sparks arguments about Bounty bars and Milky Ways and sometimes even Snickers (confession time: I don’t think peanut works in a chocolate bar, so sue me), prompting everyone to make a dash for “the good ones” before they’re gone, and thus it winds up being a tub of leftovers nobody wants.
Which, essentially, means it becomes a tub of despair.
Nobody needs any added despair in their lives right now, quite frankly. This should be a time of love and unity, not slapping your partner’s hand away from the last Galaxy Caramel and sobbing over a seemingly nonexhaustive supply of coconut-based goodies…
4) Miniature Heroes
Who doesn’t adore teeny-tiny reproductions of their favourite chocolate bars, eh? This box always keeps me thoroughly satisfied with its dinky Double Deckers, its Crunchie bites, its whispers of Wispa, and its bitesize takes on all the Dairy Milk classics.
So where does it fall short?
I’ll tell you where: it’s all hinged upon the Twisted bar, which is basically a square-shaped Creme Egg (albeit with a runnier, more liquidy filling).
If ever you needed a reminder as to why we only eat Creme Eggs at Easter, this is it: the Twisted bar is sickly sweet, and overwhelmingly so. It spurts all over your chin from the very moment you bite into it, which means you always need a wet wipe or two handy. And, while all of this would be forgivable, the Twisted bar always dominates my Miniature Heroes boxes, with a seemingly 4:1 ratio against all other chocs.
So, solely because I want more Twirls and Eclairs than I’m given here, it’s a stern dressing down for Miniature Heroes from me.
I’ve bumped this down the list for yet another selfish reason: my favourite in the Roses box is the turquoise-wrapped chewy caramel. I love it. I love it with a passion unlike anything I’ve felt before, and yet the only place I can find it is buried within a sea of Roses chocolates.
Unlike so many of the others in the tub, there is not a bar-based version of the chewy caramel available to buy in stores. And yet, despite this, it is still the most underrepresented of all the Roses chocs.
Why? Why torture me like this? Do you know how many tubs of Roses I’ve bought over the past month, solely to get my mitts on that deliciously chewy caramel? A lot. Like, a lot.
I have long vowed to rally against the lions of chocolate-based injustice, which means Roses will remain below Quality Street until this caramel situation is sorted. Don’t @ me.
2) Quality Street
The 12 chocolates found within a Quality Street tub have achieved such dizzying heights of fame that they’re now affectionately known only by their colours and shapes (think your green triangles, your purple ones, your toffee fingers). And, yeah, thanks to the treasure trove of treats on offer, there truly is something here for everyone to enjoy.
So why not crack open a tin, stick on The Holiday, and hunker down under a duvet for a truly decadent experience, yeah?
1) Cadbury Freddo Selection Box
The best chocolate box of them all? Why, it’s the Cadbury Freddo Selection Box, of course!
Pretty much every millennial will remember finding some version of this selection box in their stockings on Christmas morning, and marvelling over its bounty of Freddo bars, Chomps, CurlyWurlies, and Buttons.
Everyone remembers juggling the chocolate bars on offer, weighing up the pros and benefits of going in Fudge first or saving that most controversial of treats until last.
And everyone knows that, despite it breaking all my selection box rules, this remains the ultimate.
“It was an annual highlight,” says Stylist’s Jazmin Kopotsha mistily.
Hear bloody hear. So, if you’re in the mood for a nostalgia-based pick-me-up, why not part with £2.99 and send your tastebuds rocketing back to the 90s, eh?
You won’t regret it.