Martina, 23, London

The highs

I think with the challenges we face as Black people in the world, there is often little time left to focus on our mental health. It can feel like an indulgence when you’re worried about keeping a roof over your head, or getting opportunities in your career, or simply coping with the day-to-day stress of living in a Black body.

But I’ve made my mental health a priority as I could see how past trauma was impacting my mood, my relationships and my thought processes. Over the past two years, I’ve been in and out of NHS therapy. They offer 12 sessions at a time, and I’ve done three courses in total.

The sessions helped me cope with my low moods and past trauma that was impacting my present. Earlier this year I lost my nan to Covid-19, and that’s when my depression really took hold. I’m quite a reserved person, but this was extreme. I found it hard to communicate with friends and family, and I was exhausted all the time.

My GP seemed rather worried for me and suggested I use 20mg of Fluoxetine and get back to therapy. I’ve been on antidepressants for two months now, and I’m still on the waiting list for therapy, but the fact that after four weeks I was able to get out of bed on my day off, cook for myself, tidy my house and put a wash on felt amazing!

It’s also given me enough energy to open up to friends and family. I don’t always want to be a ‘strong Black woman’ – I want to be delicate and vulnerable and looked after. Since I’ve been able to communicate this, my relationships have flourished.

3 women talk about the highs and lows of life on antidepressants