When you’re about to send an angry email:

Have a (literal) toddler tantrum

Tamu Thomas, coach, former-social worker and author of Women Who Work Too Much: Break Free From Toxic Productivity And Find Your Joy

“One thing my clients know me for is encouraging them to have a toddler tantrum; literally lying on the ground and flailing like a toddler. We’re conditioned to think that it’s immature, childish, uncivilised and not ladylike. The first time I tried it, I had all of these reservations too. I was really frustrated about how busy and overwhelmed I felt, and had been trying to distract myself – thinking I could journal or Netflix-binge my way out of it. But I decided to try a tantrum [a version of tension release exercises, which are often used to release stress, because shaking and vibrating movements release tension in the muscles, calming the nervous system] and the rush of relief I felt afterwards was like nothing else.

“It helped me realise how much overwhelm and stress I was holding onto and not expressing in the name of being civilised and mature. Overwhelm is a very primal feeling, so it’s often not something we can tackle using our executive function alone. Having a tantrum is about allowing yourself a very wild release in a controlled environment (I like to do it at home rather than somewhere public) – which in turn helps redivert you away from allowing your overwhelm to spill out into your interactions with other people.”

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