But, as we know, we can’t make every part of life entirely predictable and certain. Thus, Epel recommends that we build up our ‘uncertainty tolerance’ and learn to get comfortable in the discomfort of not knowing exactly what’s going to happen.

This could benefit our mental health in many ways. Epel performed a study on stress during the pandemic and found that those with lower levels of uncertainty tolerance tended to have higher levels of post-traumatic stress, experiencing more anxiety over time. Higher levels of uncertainty tolerance are also associated with lower anxiety and depression.

“We have a highly volatile future right now, so being more comfortable with uncertainty helps us feel less anxious,” Epel tells us. “At the same time, it is helpful to focus on the present moment, the only one we can really control. We can check in with our body to see how we might be holding stress at this moment in our body. We can remind ourselves that the present is certain, and it is safe to relax right now.

“Expecting the unexpected is a mental shift that makes us feel OK when things go awry, or simply not as we’ve envisioned. It allows us to more comfortably bear the ambiguity and uncertainty of life. If we expect the unexpected, when the unexpected does happen, we don’t have an overexaggerated and prolonged fight-or-flight response. Our heart does not thump. Our body doesn’t tense in response to the ‘threat’.

“The data show that the more we can accept and exist comfortably with uncertainty, the less likely we are to develop chronic stress, anxiety, depression or PTSD when times get hard. The more resilient we’ll be to ongoing, unpredictable stressors like, say, pandemics or natural disasters. The faster we recover from traumatic stressors. And the more we can go out and live our lives more fully.”

How accepting things will go wrong can make you happier