2. Set healthy helping boundaries

Compulsive helpers tend to help in all aspects of life: at work, volunteering, caring for relatives, acting as the fixer in the family. You are often the one that everyone turns to – the first port of call when they are in distress or in need. But your relationships lack balance: you help people but they seldom help you. You are the one making all the effort: remembering birthdays, keeping in touch, sending well-wishes for that job interview.

But it’s OK to consciously decide who, how and when you are going to help. You don’t have to be there all the time, for every person. Setting some well-needed boundaries is key to helping you reclaim your time, space and energy.

3. Ask for help

Remember that you are not alone. Those who habitually provide help seldom ask for it for themselves. Go to someone you trust and think about what you need from them. You might just ask them to listen while you offload what’s on your mind.

4. Don’t put up with helper’s guilt

Remind yourself that it’s OK to say no sometimes. You don’t have to feel guilty when you don’t help. You don’t have to feel guilty when you care for yourself. If you don’t do this, who is going to?

Baker and Vincent insist that they’re not “against helping”, but instead wish to promote ‘healthy helping’ – which comes out of compassion rather than out of compulsion. And super-helper syndrome is something that must be overcome because it cannot be managed sustainably or healthily.

“Healthy helping is where you look after your own needs as well as looking after others,” they add.

“Super-helper syndrome”: 4 ways to help you unlearn compulsive helping habits and protect your time and energy